Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Ice Ice Baby

It's mid-way through January, and I'm starting my annual freak out. The reason is simple: I'm cold. I've been cold since the end of October and it's starting to make me want to put on my crazypants. This happens to me every year and I'm about to cry ice cubes like that penguin from Hoboken in the Bugs Bunny cartoon.

I've also started asking myself: why did I get into a profession that invariably has cold, drafty buildings? Libraries are not warm places. There is a reason why librarians are especially fond of cardigans and have coffee breath, and that's because we're all trying to keep warm. (Not that I have fallen prey to the Cardigan Monster. Honey, please.) I know cool, dry air is good for the books, blah blah blah. At this point, screw the damn books, I'm FROZEN. I want to come in from the blustery winter day and be warm. Is that too damn much to ask????? (Calm down, Librarian Girl, calm down).

Ok, so I can't entirely blame libraries. I am what they call cold-blooded. I'm not happy unless it is 70 degrees or higher. 65 degrees means pants-every-day weather, and I am a skirt kind of girl. In high school, my friends used to sing that Paula Abdul song when they saw me coming: "she's a cold-hearted sna-ake, look into her eyes..." and I would grin and chatter my teeth to the beat. I have made life-changing decisions, like moving across the country away from everything I knew and loved, based on getting away from the friggin' cold. I blame my genetic code; I am a mere one-generation away from living in a tropical paradise, and my body is pissed off at being brought to the great American tundra. I know I'm whining right now, but I can't help it. I'm Joel Fleishmann stuck in Cicely, and I'm starting to lose it.

So let me just get it all out of my system, and maybe I'll feel better. The library is drafty, with outside winds bursting through the door and right onto us reference penguins, keeping us looking easy-breezy-beautiful for the public. The reference desktop is made from some Flinstones-like stone slab that actually looks sleek and fancy (thumbs up) but makes me go all Dr. Zhivago whenever I have to touch it. 50% of the time the furnace is all messed up, so it often blows icy air through the vents instead of warmth. And top that all off with a generous helping of angry, cold-crazed patrons that come up to yell at us about turning up the heat and you've got a recipe for Cool Whip topping over iceberg lettuce.

I don't care- I'm not breaking down and donning a holiday knit sweater or crushed velvet Renaissance-Fair pants. Will not happen. I'll just work myself into a froth about how cold I am and my irrational igloo-rage will keep me warm.

Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl


Josh said...

Amazingly, it's sunny and 58 here in Chicago. It feels like spring!

...Also, there's nothing wrong with a good cardigan every once in a while. Nothing. At. All.

Sigh. And you call yourself a librarian.

Librarian Girl said...

A good cardigan? Good cardigan. Listen to yourself.

Anonymous said...

Cashmere honey, cashmere.

I'll trade you the cold for the 8 months of summer that we get here in Floriduh. Libro-exchange perhaps?

Librarian Girl said...

Still can't go there, even for cashmere. I can pull a lot of things off, but I can't rock the cardigan. Kudos to all who can and look fab. Yes, I said "kudos." Maybe I CAN wear a cardigan.

8-months of summer? Heaven. How did I not know that Florida was heaven?

Anonymous said...

I have been known to wear a cardigan or two, but it having pockets in the front is where I draw the line.

And speaking of dressing suitably for the weather, wearing socks with sandals is prevalent among both librarians and biologists. Not okay! If your feet are too cold, get some shoes people!

Librarian Girl said...

Biology girl, I am so excited that you have left me a comment. Between this, our phone talks, and our emailing and letter-writing, I think you and I will have pretty much 24-hour-a-day contact with each other.

I am going to ignore the socks and sandals thing, because it is just too painful for me to address.

WDL said...

first, cardigans are hot.

.."my cardigans bring all the boys to the yard.."

second, i have a little 2 bar electric fire in my office. why do I mention this? because I have an office, and I like to say that I have an office. but I am warm.

third, thermals. i pretty much need them 7 months out of the year. no one knows except you. shhhh.

fourth, anyone who would live in Flahr-ih-dah (new york accent puh leez)is crazy.

i like cold weather. i can wear more clothes when its cold. anyway, this library is so freakin' air conditioned in the summer, I need a cardi anyway.


Librarian Girl said...

Who knew that so much commentary would go on about cardigans? I've touched on a hot-button issue (pardon the pun), I see.

Let me say this-- I think cardigans are different for boys. They just are. I'm all for equality-in-dress (as Eddie Izzard would say), but there you have it. If you can wear a cardigan and not look like Chandler Bing, that's all good. Bust out a sweater vest while you're at it. And thermals-- yes, I agree they are necessary. But Skirty Skirterson (that's me) can't do that unless it's pants-every-day. I'm just happy that all this bohemian layering is rocking out these days--I can do me some of that.

And it does seem a little more swanky when you call it a cardi.

WDL said...

just for fun! and not a cardi in sight.

Librarian Girl said...

Oh, that's scary. I love it. I got a set of 60s musicals paper dolls from a friend last week, and I thought my Angela-Lansbury-as-Mame paper doll was bad enough.

WDL said...

don't nobody talk about ms. lansbury.

i begged for murder she wrote on DVD for chanukkah.

i got it too.

i take notes. i've been able to solve two crimes at work so far.

i'm still looking for a doctor with a hardy new england accent to hang out with though.

ok, all of those are lies. but hilarious ones.

but i did get MSW on DVD. I would never lie about that.


Josh said...

I can't believe I missed all this talk! ...Now I'm at the stupid tail end.

I own a cardigan which was dubbed by my friends at the library "Josh's old-man cardigan". Dorky? Yes. But it got aaallllll the ladies.

Anonymous said...

See librarian girl, I'm not the only MSW fan! Of course, I may be the only one who kept an Angela Lansbury scrapbook as a child, but that's a different story.

Librarian Girl said...

Oh no you didn. You did NOT just out yourself with that scrapbook story! This is why I love you so much.

When do you visit your mom next? I am dying to see that scrapbook. Please tell me she has saved it.

Librarian Girl said...

And Matthew, let me be clear- I was trying to convey my LOVE for my musical-divas paper doll set. There were squeals of delight when I got them. Not freaky Deliverance squeals either.

I would never desecrate Angela.

Librarian Girl said...

Josh: an "old-man" cardigan. What about it exactly made it old-mannish? Did you smell like mothballs? Shake your fist at rotten kids while wearing it?

Anonymous said...

Every time Josh wore that damn old man cardigan, he farted. I'm sorry but it's true. He was never invited to my cube when that stanky sweater was around.

WDL said...

er, I have an angela lansbury scrapbook.....honest to pete