Other kids had ripped-out pages of Tiger Beat on their bedroom walls.

Not me, future librarian.

You should totally meet your blog friends

I think I'm going to have to quote Inigo Montoya on this one.

"Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up."

1. I am on the last leg of the Midwest Extravaganza of '09. It has been the raddest trip of all trips. Fuck Paris, Rome, Cancun. This shit is phun.
2. I had delicious Blue Moon ice cream that was made by students in the University of Wisconsin agriculture program. I think I might just take up arms to defend the sanctity of that ice cream. If there ever turns out to be an ice cream war. I also ate some delicious green bean concoction at Kabul's afghani restaurant in Madison. If you are a fan of eating, you should go there.
3. Lest you think my whole trip centered around food, there were other memorable moments to be had. Most notable for me was meeting blog friends for the first time, and oh the cherry was popped in a most satisfying manner. (Too much? I think that was maybe too much.)
4. First on deck, there was Leah, her hubster Justin, and Annie. Leah and Annie have read this here blog, and Justin I'm sure was there for the vittles. Never mind that he didn't know me, and never mind that I was in a complete daze from being on a plane all day. Everyone pretended that I was bright-eyed and gregarious, which was mighty neighborly of them. And everyone there was about twenty-three kinds of awesome. They really were. I wished I could have a second friend-date, especially when I was, you know, not brain-fried. They were just kind, funny, genuine people. Yay blog friend inaugural!
5. Next up, the ladies behind the blogs The Astounding Adventures of the Pop Quiz Kid and The Life of a Lovechild. If I weren't phone-blogging I would totally link to them but I can't be bothered to figure that shit out so you'll just have to look over in the sidebar there. Anyhoo. These two ladies also rocked my socks. Hilarious, first of all. And once again I am fairly certain that if we lived near each other we would be kicking it on the regular, as the kids like to say. If those kids lived in 1992, that is. As far as blog friends go, they also knocked it out of the park.
6. Lastly, it was Berg with Fries and the Maiden Metallurgist. Two finer bloggers are not to be found, yes? How could the blog awesomeness measure up to any in-person awesomeness? It can't, right? Wrong-o, buster. They were all of their fabulousness, plus more. I sort of wish I had a horrifying, embarrassing blog friend date story to tell you, but what can I say? My blog taste, it is perfection.
7. I also saw many a pal that I know from outside of blogland, including my college roommate and my childhood doppleganger. They are also The Shit.
8. Basically this whole blog is about how my friends are way cool. Certainly way cooler than I am. I am a coat-tail rider and I am unashamed.
9. Now I am typing this blog on my phone while I lie in a hammock in my parents' backyard after being stuffed with an absurd amount of homemade cinammon rolls.

I love vacation. And blog friends who materialize into real friends. And vacation. And cinammon rolls. And hammocks. And vacation.

Photos for two weeks

So I was totally right (and I love it when that happens) that blogging from my phone is a total drag. So the next couple of weeks are going to be heavy on the photos and light on the blah blah.

Before I shut up though, GET THIS. Graham from the tv show "Lost" was totally on our plane yesterday! Not some dude who looked like Graham. The actual Graham. Or I guess it's the actor who plays Graham, if you want to be technical. he was up in First Class, and he kept getting up to mess with his bags and looking back into Coach. how creepy is that?? A fucking Other was on my plane! Actually, to be honest I think he kept standing up and looking around because he, like, wanted to call attention to himself or something. People were totally recognizing him but no one went up to him. The lady sitting next to me whispered "Is it me or is that an Other?" and that's all that was said about it.

Anyhow, so much for the more-pics-less-talky thing.

MC Biskizzy

So busy around here. Must list.

1. I'm about to go on a little tripsie and I'm wondering what to do about the blog. I'm thinking of just blogging from my phone, but I've never done that before. Is it a pain in the ass? It sounds like a pain in the ass. So votes, please. Phone blogging, yes or no?

2. Wow, I almost put myself into a coma with list item #1. I am so fascinating, you guys.

3. Speaking of my phone, I was talking to Nordic Boy on the phone the other day and the traffic noise on the street where I was standing was really, really loud. And the street where he was was very, very loud. Our conversation went like this.
Me: We have to get something from the store for dinner tonight.
Him: Ok. You want (traffic noise) to go get it after work?
Me: No, I want you to come with me!
Him: I said do you want (traffic noise) to go get it?
Me: No!!! I want us to go together!!

This went on for three rounds. All along, he was saying "do you want me to come with you to go get it?" And I kept screaming at him that no, I wanted him to come with me. Ah, life in the big city. It makes me even more lovable.

4. I want to move to the land of So You Think You Can Dance. Really. The awesomeness is too much to handle. It sort of blows my mind that there is ART on tv, and on everloving FOX on top of it. I mean, what's next? ABC plays "The Skin of Our Teeth" after Grey's Anatomy? I watch the show and I picture John and Bertha America watching it on their couch and they have never seen live arty dance before in their lives and they are all the sudden watching this?????

Yes, they are.

Or this????

An American In Paris mixed with Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

How can you even ARGUE with that, is all I'm saying. Not that you are arguing with that. And if you are, then you are just clearly not my people and we never need to speak of this again.

5. Speaking of tv, why is the Fashion Show on Bravo so lame? Lame, lame, lame. Sorry Isaac. Like your Target stuff.

6. I had a total oldster "Get Off My Lawn" moment yesterday. Some fratty boys were walking down my street, and one of them was carrying a watermelon (this sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn't it?). In the midst of their disgusting frat roughhousing with each other, they dropped the watermelon. Do they clean it up? Hardly. Do they leave it on the sidewalk and keep stepping? Not that either. No, they decided to take the pieces of shattered watermelon and throw it at each other. Which, ok, fine. Whatever. But they did it with my parked car between them. And the pieces of watermelon hit my car, like a billion times. It seriously looks like someone puked watermelon all over my car right now. What the hell, dudes? Maybe I should just be grateful that it isn't actual puke on my car, you know, considering the source.

7. I overheard someone in the library call another person a "noodle" in irritation. I kind of love that person.

My little girl heart still loves Michael, it's true

When Michael Jackson died last week, it was sort of a weird day. I was at the reference desk and so many people came up to me and told me about it. "Did you hear that Michael Jackson died?" everyone was saying to each other. EVERYONE. I have worked in public service for a while now and I never was at work during a national event that made people talk to each other so much. There was the last presidential election, in a way, but that breaking news didn't happen when I was at work. That was more a morning-after type thing.

So ok fine, what I am leading up to is a list of Michael Jackson memories, some of which I may have mentioned in other blog posts, so sue me. Here goes.

1. As a kid, my friend and I would tape record ourselves singing to songs on the radio. One of our favorites was "Wanna Be Startin' Something." In it, we sang, with full confidence in our lyric-listening abilities, the following: "Too high to get over (yeah, yeah), to low to get under (yeah, yeah), you're stuck in the middle, and the penis finger."

2. This same friend and I once did an elaborate tape recorded audio play to the song "Thriller." We had scripts, and whenever MJ was not singing, we said our lines. The play had something to do with us getting lured into a haunted house. The big finale and special effect was at the very end, when Vincent Price does his long, diabolical laugh, we wanted it to sound like we were being chased away whilst screaming. The only way we could do this was to leave the recorder on and scream bloody murder while running out of her bedroom and down the hallway of her house, thus creating the fading scream effect. We did many takes of this special effect. Bless her mom for not telling us to shut the hell up, as mine would have most certainly done.

3. My first childhood boyfriend had a red MJ Beat It jacket with all the zippers, a jeri curl, and could moonwalk and do the worm, and this is precisely why I liked him.

4. I can moonwalk like a mothershanker and you would be amazed. I can even do the style of moonwalk where you turn around in the midst of the moonwalk. I believe the word you are looking for here is: gifted.

5. My friend Mike and Delium once made up an MJ-esque dance in college, and called it "The Shamones" in his honor.

6. Michael Jackson is the only celebrity crush I ever had in my life. I have never loved a male celebrity again. Not Kirk Cameron then, not George Clooney now.

7. My friend Michelle had a neighborhood party on the day that the Thriller video was first played on MTV. There was ice cream and all us little girls screamed in ecstacy when it came on the screen. Which is what happens when you were a little girl in the 80s and there was ice cream and Michael Jackson at the same time.

8. I remember when Elvis died, and some adults I knew were kind of sad about it and I totally didn't get it. Wasn't Elvis just that bloated joke with the white jumpsuits? That's all I ever experienced of him. But now I get it. There are just those generational things. And if you were just the right age in 1982, then you're sad about MJ. If you're a little too old or a little too young, then yeah, he does seem like a joke. So, yeah. Sorry about that, Elvis.

9. Do I need to mention my button collection again? Ok fine. I had this button collection of MJ buttons, most of which I made myself with a homemade-button machine thing. Not only did I have maybe 50 of these mamma jammas, but there was a short period where I wore them. All of them. At the same time. Just covering my shirt from chin to waist in a sort of Michael Jackson chain mail breast plate. And here you thought that my being fashion-forward was a thing I developed in adulthood.

10. Annie are you ok? Annie are you ok? Are you ok Annie?

Go Ahead, Sing the Whole Song That Way, It's Even More Funny

My MJ button collection from when I was in elementary school. I actually had about 50 of these bad boys.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to be writing a blog post about Michael Jackson. I know, I know, everyone else will be too. But I'm the Pop Culture Librarian. It's kind of required for me.

But, I don't have time to write a real post about the place of Michael Jackson in my elementary school heart. There wasn't much I loved more when I was a child than Michael. There is a part of my childhood self that is sort of (I know, I'm being corny) devastated about him, and has been for a long time because of the wacky dude he turned out to be and now the devastation has a nice neat bow on it to end the whole crap story. I could wax nostalgic about it. But I have so much shit to do today that it's 7am and I am already feeling like I am behind on my day.

So instead of all that, I am going to tell you what made me laugh, and laugh, and laugh yesterday about Jacko. I know, inappropriate and insensitive. Dying is no laughing matter. But don't I always laugh at inappropriate times? I think I have thoroughly documented this by now.

My friend Toby wrote this on his Facebook wall after the news came out yesterday:
"And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now Just To Tell You Once Again, Who's Dead."

Is it just me or is that the funniest thing you have ever sung to yourself in your head? I am still sort of giggling about this this morning.

I am a horrible, horrible person, yes. But come on! It's funny!

Librarian Girl

Robo-home

Oh my friends. My dream has come true.

We got a robot vacuum cleaner.

We spent much of Sunday evening watching it work, as if it was a very riveting episode of Double Trouble, starring the Segal twins. It was magnificent in much the same way. I think I have become one of those scary people that want a robot labor force to do everything for me from here on out. If it can vacuum my floor, why can't it fold my laundry and make my bed and apply my mascara too? Oh Roomba, you are the gateway robot.

Oh and other stuff happened this weekend too. Like for one thing, we went and saw my friends play at the Fremont Fair. Play in a band, I guess I should clarify. Otherwise you might think they were engaged in a pinochle tourney or something. I really wish that word was spelled "peeknuckle." I would think better of the game if it were spelled that way. The way it's really spelled makes me think I should say "pin-notch-lay." Doesn't it look like that? Back when I was in middle school and I discovered the glory that is Dave Gahan's voice, I went through a period where I called the band Depeche Mode "Dah-Peachy Mode." Dah-Peachy. And I'm sorry but I still like that name better than the real name.

What was I saying? Oh yes, my weekend.

So we went to see my friends' rock it. The set sounded really good, and was enhanced by a dude in a bear plushy outfit dancing in front of the stage, which is always a nice touch. I missed this year's annual naked bike riding parade at the fair, which to be honest, was kind of ok with me.

Also, Nordic Boy finished his water re-routing drainage yard project. There was drilling, and man-sized hole digging, and pipe installation, and mixing and setting of cement. All things of which I know little to nothing. But it was exciting nonetheless and I am told water will now drain as it should, goddamit.

We also attended two friends' joint 30th birthday party, which started out at a local pizza joint. There was pizza leftover, and then we all wanted to trek over to a bar across the neighborhood, and so Rambo valiantly offered to carry the leftover pizza to the second location. So we walked for many blocks, and he looked like this the entire time, which cracked me up for some reason. I'm not sure why.


Carrying pizza Big-Boy style late at night for blocks and blocks is somehow funny to me.

I also caught up with my friend D, who probably shouldn't be hanging out with me because there is much laughing and he still has tender stitches from his appendix outage last week. So when he laughs really hard, he holds his hand over his sore appendix hole. And I say "ha ha! I've got you in STITCHES!" each time. Which we both think is funny, which is one of the reasons we're friends.

I think I'm going to watch my robot do my floors now.