Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year Meme 2011

Once again, I'm doing this tired old thing. Don't tell me that I never recycle anything.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Went to a baseball game. The food sucked monkey balls and cost like it came from the mothereffing Ritz. But the game was fun, and the friends, and the sweet, sweet sunshine. Also, I went to see roller derby. Look at me, so sporty!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I did a whole list of things I want to keep up, rather than things I wanted to change. I should write a post about whether I did all of it or whether I was full of shit. Perhaps I will. But not right now. As for 2012 ones, I doubt it. I haven't decided yet.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! It was another year of babies all around! Cuteness levels WAY UP in 2011.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Well, he was close to Nordic Boy, which is as close to me as you can get. It was horrible.

5. What countries did you visit? 
You know what? I am changing this question to "what trips did you take?" so I don't have to keep saying the same mess every year about not travelling abroad.
New York, New York, it's a wonderful town! (I love singing the line from that song). Also, Dungeness Spit, the Olympic Peninsula, Portland, Michigan.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More healthiness for all my loved ones. Or all of everyone. to all.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why
I have so many, but I will say July 4, because I went to a really fun party and saw fireworks and it was good times.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Keeping it positive on the work tip, yo. Also, resolving some friendship stuff that needed resolving on a couple of fronts. The friendship situations just about killed me this year. It's good to care that much and love people as much as I do, and I wouldn't change that about myself even if I could, but sometimes it opens me up to heartbreak too. Thankee Jebus that I still have some good homies to count on.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I honestly can't think of one. Apparently I have a high opinion of myself. There was that time I lost my new camera, which made me feel like a first class a-hole.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a serious case of gut bug for the first time ever. It was terrible but I did get to lie on the bathroom floor like a frigging rock star. GLAM.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My plane tickets to New York.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I have so many people I could mention for this, which is awesomesauce. I will just say Alli and Map, for coming to see me just because I missed them so bad. And BioGirl, for carrying out friendship duties with panache.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I don't even want to talk about it, because my being appalled doesn't change a goddamn thing.

14. Where did most of your money go?
A gas line and a new furnace to match. The furnace company was all "make it rain, suckers!" and we did. It poured.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Portland Fashion Week with my bestie.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
It's not even a song from this year, but I listened to it a lot this year, because I can be dumb and dramatic sometimes. "Every Heartbeat" by Robyn. I'll put a clip of it at the end of the post.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Both
ii. thinner or fatter? Same
iii. richer or poorer? Same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Reading and spending time with my peeps and going to arty things. You know, the stuff I want to be doing all the time.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Already happened! My dude, movies, reading, laughing, eating.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Every frigging day.

23. How many one-night stands?

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Parks and Rec. Ron Swanson for President.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. To quote Michael Jackson, I'm a lover not a fighter. Also, shamone.

26. What was the best book you read?
I quite enjoyed two books I read by Aravind Adiga: Last Man in Tower and The White Tiger.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I like Craft Spells a lot.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter, Muppets. Because I am 10 years old?

31. What did you do on your birthday?
I dropped Nordic Boy off at the airport so he could see his cousin in the hospital, I had lunch with Biogirl, got my beloved new camera, and got ready to go to Portland Fashion Week. It was a day full of super highs and super lows, like last year.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less activity around hospitals overall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
I love clothes and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny. However, I went to New York this year and was on a budget and did not buy one thing. ONE THING. Restraint, people.

34. What kept you sane?
My peeps, hands down.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't know. I hate this question. I know that every die-hard Gilmore Girls fan was feeling that strange happy/possessive feeling about Melissa McCarthy this year. You know, the so-glad-she-is-successful mixed with I-totally-knew-about-her-awesomeness-before-everyone else. Let's all collectively get over that, because I wasn't the only one watching the Gilmore Girls and neither were you. It just feels that way.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Japanese tsunami, Arab Spring, and the Penn State disgustingness.

37. Who did you miss?
Mom, Dad, Allison, Map, Julia, Nan, Rosita... so many people to miss. Sigh.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
My new coworkers are pretty rad.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
I've learned it before but I had to learn it again and it was just as hard as ever: letting go is all there is to do sometimes.

40. A song lyric that sums up your year.
I'll do that sad one I mentioned before, but then end on a happy one, because both are totally appropriate, and I am feeling hopeful about 2012 and I want to end on that. May you feel the same about the coming year.

Goodbye 2011:
Maybe we could make it all right
We could make it better sometime
Maybe we could make it happen, baby

We could keep trying but things will never change, so I don't look back
Still I'm dying with every step I take, but I don't look back

And it hurts with every heartbeat
And it hurts with every heartbeat

Hello 2012:
You don't have a clue
What it is like to be next to you
I'm here to tell you
That it is good
That it is true

Birds singing a song
Old paint is peeling
This is that fresh
That fresh feeling

Words can't be that strong
My heart is reeling
This is that fresh
That fresh feeling

Try to forget what's in the past
Tomorrow is here
Orange sky above lighting your way
There's nothing to fear

Birds singing a song
Old paint is peeling
This is that fresh
That fresh feeling

Words can't be that strong
My heart is reeling
This is that fresh
That fresh feeling

Some people are good
Babe in the 'hood
So pure and so free
I'd make a safe bet
You're gonna get whatever you need

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Oh, you mean a holiday as in taking a holiday. I see now.

My motivation for writing on the bloggy always goes down a bit this time of year, because I feel like people probably aren't reading. What with work holidays, travelling, and the like. Do I know this from my blog stats, you ask? Do I even look at my blog stats anymore? Well, that's beside the point, is what I say. Who needs facts when my feelings tell me I can slack off? Thanks, feelings!

You know how I am always saying that when it comes to the holidays, I don't really understand what all the fuss is about? Well, during pretty much my entire adult working life, I have never taken any days off around the holidays, and this year I did. Newsflash, everyone! Not having to work for a few extra days totally makes holiday time so exciting! NOW I GET IT. See, sometimes I see the dots, but I don't always connect the dots.

I had four days off in a row this week, and it was like a relaxation bonanza going on around here. There was one day when I didn't even crack my door open to leave my house but at all. I know! Crazyballs!

On Friday as I was leaving work, Nordic Boy called to tell me that our car crapped out and so we had it towed and waited with bated breath to hear back that it wouldn't cost five zillion dollars to fix. We got it back yesterday and it was only 2 zillion dollars, so I guess our wishing should have been more specific. The time that wasn't spent wasted on highballing our wishes was pretty good. Nordic Boy cooked up a ton of awesome food, which I helped with, and it was all so delicious, and I loved it, and it was fun to make together, but honestly I am all cooked out for probably the rest of my life.

Other than that I didn't do one productive thing at all. Well, we paid bills and cleaned the house and did laundry and that type of thing, but that doesn't count. Other than that we watched movies and read books and just were complete and total shut ins. Nordic Boy didn't even work on the house. I know, WUT. Other than some time spent with Delium, we kicked it hermit style and it was awesome.

I hope that you had a great holiday, if in fact you celebrate that sort of thing. If you don't do the holidays, at least take a lesson from me. Take some days off if you can. That's the kind of holiday magic anyone can get behind.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Hello Talbots, and you too Chico's

Mom: I stopped over at Christopher and Banks this morning, but I didn't find anything.
Me: What store is that again?
Mom: Christopher and Banks.
Me: I've never been there. What is it? Clothes?
Mom: You've never heard of it?
Me: I've heard of it, but there isn't one here in Seattle I think. Other than maybe in the malls, and I don't go to the mall much. What kind of stuff do they have?
Mom: Oh you know. Clothes for older ladies. Like us.
Me: (silence as I slowly digest that my septuagenarian mother has now put me in her age category)
Me: Oh.
Mom: (back pedal, back pedal!) I just mean, it's not for teenagers. That's all I mean.
Me: Got it.

I guess it's time for me to stop thinking Ann Taylor is too old for me.



Saturday, December 17, 2011

Consumables #54

I checked the weather this morning and the forecast for Seattle was colder than the forecast for Wisconsin, Michigan and New York today. What kind of ridiculousness is that? Mild climate my ass. I also happened to see the local tv news the other day, and the weatherman was calling his forecast the "futurecast." Wow, so space age! And also, are we now afraid that the word forecast is too hard for people to understand? So we have to put the word future into it just to make sure we understand what is happening? What's next? Will history class be called Pastory or Old-Timey-Times or something?

I don't know. Perhaps I am just gripey because it looks like this outside.

So get this, I have further evidence that old ladyness is taking over my being. Last night I came home from work and Nordic Boy and I had a lovely dinner, followed by a little Daily Show/Colbert on the DVR, and some conversation after that. At about 9pm, we were sitting on our couch, looking at the candles in our fireplace. Nordic Boy reached over and turned the lights down to romantical levels, and within 5 minutes? I WAS ASLEEP. Can you believe that nonsense? Oh yes, I know how to keep the spark alive, people.

The holidays are totally happening, like almost now, and not only have my normal levels of non-caring about them gone on (still not interested in a tree or putting up lights or making cookies or shopping for gifts or traveling), but the one and only thing I usually do for the holidays- send out cards- has fallen by the wayside. I have not done a good goddamn about holiday cards yet, which means at this point it's probably not happening. Perhaps I shall send out Groundhog Day cards later on or something instead. I guess this is my way of telling any of you who are reading this who normally get a card from me this year that the lack of card-giving does not mean I have chopped you from the list. I'm just full on in denial about the season. Ho ho ho.

Wait, hold on. My denial is not total and complete. I have done one holiday-ish item this year. Check me out! It's a Consumable.

I decided to read some Christmasy stuff written by old Chuck Dickens. First of all, I read A Christmas Carol, which I haven't read since I was in high school. I confess I rather like Mr. Scrooge. Not so much on the being a bad boss thing, but on all the other stuff. I didn't find him to be so bad. I found him quite likeable actually. I know I sound crazyballs on this one, but hear me out. I think that I find a secret (ok maybe not so secret) glee in characters who don't understand the holidays. This is why I love Charlie Brown so much. And the Grinch too. And all those selfish city ladies in Hallmark Original Movies about the holidays. Sure, they all find the Christmas spirit at the end, but that's like, during the last 5 minutes of the story so I can almost ignore that part. The rest of the time they are all "merry who now?" I can identify, is all I am saying.

The second Dickens item I read was the short story A Christmas Tree. And holy guacamole was it a total snoozefest. Ay carumba with the on and on about the dang tree. SHUT UP, CHUCKIE. (Are you seeing why I have empathy for Ebenezer now?) I'm just saying that I don't recommend that one.

We watched Captain America, wherein he kicks Nazi ass. It was everything that you might want/expect out of a movie like that. No surprises and that was just fine with me. We also watched Helen Mirren kick Nazi ass in The Debt. Lastly I watched Funny Girl where there were no Nazis at all, thank goodness. I watched it because my friend Linda, when referring to her own outfit, used the words "ruffled shirt" and what else is one supposed to do when those words are used than think "Nick Arnestein!" and then run home and watch Babs and Omar? I was like Pavlov's dog: she said ruffled shirt and I had immediate Funny Girl cravings. And, I totally had forgotten that Frankincense Pontipee was in that movie. I want to also mention the outfit that Barbra wears that has, instead of a shoulder clasp or brooch, a full-size bunch of grapes hanging off of her shoulder, but I can't think of how to work it in so I am just going to mention it and leave it alone. Also, I love the headpieces during "His Love Makes Me Beautiful." Let's look at it together, shall we?

Have a lovely weekend!

Friday, December 09, 2011

Consumables #53

This hibernation thing is getting out of control.

My policy of saying yes to things has gone down the frigging toilet this past month. All I do is stay home, and then decide to stay home some more, with a side of staying home. To be fair, I am feeling very mentally busy lately, rather than my usual vapid self, and all this thinking and plotting and scheming takes TIME. And luckily, most of it can be done from the comfort of my own couch, preferably under a blanket. But still. I had the opportunity to go see Mark Morris last weekend and I just totally didn't feel like going, so I didn't. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? Oh, and in case you were just dying with curiosity about that whole Next Phase of Life thing that I was talking about? Don't hold your breath on that one, because it turns out that planning big things takes a shit ton of time. And also, my definition of a Big Thing is probably not yours. (That's what she said).

Also, remember my policy last year of saying yes to the holidays? How I went all out (at least for me) and Kris Kringled it up? That shit is not happening this year either. I have not given the holidays one itty bitty corner of my mind this year. Not even a little. Honestly I don't really know what month it is. So what happened last year is apparently not a trend.

So, to sum up: policies are all going to shit!

My policy of consumable consuming is still on though.

Oliver Twist, by Charles Dickens. Dude, this shit was harsh! I mean, I knew what it was about, but had never read it for real, and poor Oliver gets beat up, beat down, kidnapped, starved. I would sit there and read, and Nordic Boy would say "How's Oliver doing?" and I would say "not good, man. Not good." Also, there was nothing quotable about it in quite the same way as this, one of our favorite things to re-enact in our house:

The 12 Men of Christmas
Lest you think I was going all high-minded on you with my bad Dickensian self, let me share with you the joy that is The 12 Men of Christmas, a Lifetime Original Movie starring Kristen Chenoweth and the dude from Cougartown. Kristen stars as a high-powered career gal who is lonely and loveless (surprise!). She loses her PR job when her bitchy career gal boss humps Kristen's skeezy big city boyfriend. A small town in Montana somehow gets her number and wants to hire her for a year to live there and drum up PR for tourism for their town, aka she is totally Northern Exposured. She goes to Montana and doesn't understand those crazy small towners! They volunteer, as in work without being paid, and no one in the city ever does that! She has never heard of such a thing. They also hug you when you show up for business meetings. And there is also a dickish guy who is mean and condescending to her, which is a drop dead signal that they will end up together by the end of this thing, because if you are dicky to a lady, that just shows her you are passionate and adorable. Take note, fellas! Anyway, Kristin's brilliant, completely original, never-thought-of-before idea is that the town's hot dudes will be featured in a racy calendar. So Northern Exposure has now turned into a Full Monty/Calendar Girls hybrid. And you know what? The calendar makes the town WORLD FAMOUS. And Kristen gets the man at the end (causing it to snow). Side note: you know how you can tell a Hallmark Original Holiday movie from a Lifetime Original Holiday movie? Lifetime is racier. For instance, Kristen finds herself in a situation where she happens upon a swimming pool where Cougartown man is skinny dipping. As you do. And he decides to flirt with her by getting out of the pool nude and being assy to her (both physically and metaphorically) which hey, that isn't creepy and prosecutable! And she looks him up and down and says: "not interested." and he says something like: "I bet you I can make your interest GROW." There was also a fishing lesson whereby he asks her to be gentle with the rod or some such thing. Oh, Lifetime.

Hey you guys. I just wrote four sentences about Dickens and about twenty on the 12 Men of Christmas. I should be so proud.

NOVA: Fabric of the Cosmos
Brian Green (or, as I like to imagine him, Brian Austin Green) talks trippy physics. I am also convinced that he creates a time-space distortion that is created within the confines of the show. Evidence: while I am watching it, I totally understand everything he is saying. As soon as it's over, I can't explain shit.

Lastly, just when I think I could not love Jon Stewart any more than I do, he goes and does this. I frigging love it so much.

Monday, December 05, 2011

How I can turn breadmaking into a tearjerker

There is a lot of stuff changing in my life right now, and I feel like the train is moving fast and I am holding on to the caboose for dear life, my feet flying out behind me. Most of it is stuff that I can't talk about on the bloggie (omg don't you HATE coy shit like that?) but all of a sudden Nordic Boy and I are making plans for the Next Phase in Our Lives. Doesn't that sound like a soap opera? Or the tagline for some sort of menopause commercial? Or I guess I should say menopause medication commercial. They don't really make ads for menopause itself.

And, just in case you are one of Nordic Boy's aunts out there, the Next Phase in Our Lives does not mean I am preggers.

So this weekend was full of talking and prepping and thinking and percolating. Also spreadsheets were involved. You know shit is about to get exciting when you bust out a spreadsheet! Am I right?

In other news, my parents bought Nordic Boy a present, just because he's awesome. I love the fact that my parents and Nordic Boy are so close. I am for serious, I could boohoo just thinking about it. There was a point where my dad was in the hospital a few years ago, and he was just as sick as could be, and when he came home he was too weak to walk into the house on his own, and the ambulance driver offered to lift my dad out of the vehicle, but my dad said "I'd like my son to do that please," and Nordic Boy stepped right up and carried my little dad all the way into the house, and helped him into his pajamas and got him into bed, and my dad looked at him and said "thank you, kiddo" and I could see the two of them look into each other's faces for a second, and it was a huge moment in my life, let me tell you. You can't beat that, man, you really can't.

Anyway, this is the most roundabout tangent-ridden way on earth to tell you that Nordic Boy was enamored of my folks' bread machine the last time we were there, and they up and bought him one and had it sent to our house and it has been like Christmas come early. My only fear is that Nordic Boy will now unceasingly stuff me with carbs until I burst open. I guess that's not a bad way to go.

So life planning and carbs was basically how I spent my weekend. Oh, and also last night there was a crazy scuffling sound outside our front door, and when we looked outside, there were two giant raccoons on our porch. They had made a really weird, loud noise to get our attention like that and I think they were either fighting or having racoon loving. When they saw Nordic Boy's face in the window, they both stood up and raised their arms up as if to say "you want a piece of this?" We decided that we really did not want a piece of that, and let them be. Raccoons are bad ASS.

Also, I tagged along with Nordic Boy to the bookstore. I didn't really go for my own purposes, so while he was looking for his deal, I went over to the Humor section to take a look at the new Mindy Kaling book. I feel a lot of pressure to read Mindy Kaling's book, because she is a hip Indian lady, and so I feel like I am OBLIGATED. It's like how I feel obligated to like MIA. I have two whole pop culture role models, which is two more than I ever had as a kid, so having two feels OVERWHELMING. I mean, when I was a child I liked Jacqueline Smith the best out of the Charlie's Angels because she was the DARKEST. That was about as much hope as I had in my life about people looking like me. So that is the scale I am used to, people.

Anyway, the Humor section was super crowded so I went to the next section over and read the Kaling book. Turns out the next section over was the Bible section. So me, sitting in the Bible section, laughing my guts out. Lovely.

I think I might have exceeded all bounds of randomness this time around.

Saturday, December 03, 2011


I'm becoming a first-class ditcher. But really, a book, a movie, a blanket, a couch, and a cute boy? Saturday night happiness.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, December 02, 2011

Yuletide Yodel

I am thinking about last weekend right now. It was a good one, but dang it seems like years ago now. I realized that I usually do a weekend roundup type dealie, and I didn't this time, so Ima do it now. I just KNOW you were all antsy in your pantsies about not knowing how my weekend was last weekend, right? I know. It was tearing you up inside.

First of all, I met up with some homies at a local drinky station. Both Nordic Boy and I were seriously dragging our asses and were perfectly primed for the last minute bail, but we pulled through and showed our faces. I am still on a grand quest to find my signature drink, and I am sorry to say that I did not find it yet. This time I sampled a Mamie Taylor. Actually I can't remember what it was I had. Which maybe is a sign that I really liked it or I really didn't. The other thing that happened was that Nordic Boy got ripped. He can hold his liquor really well so the last time I saw him in such a state was circa 1995. When we got home he ran around our house for a good half an hour singing the opening yodel from "Tonight I'm Lovin' You" by Enrique Iglesias, or as Nordic Boy insisted upon calling him: Julio Ing-Ling-ias Junior. So actually, it wasn't that different from non-drunk Nordic Boy.

Also, we stayed out that night until midnight or so. Alert the media!

Thanksgiving was a day of cooking, and eating, and watching really bad movies. Just like the pilgrims.

I rounded out the rest of the weekend by cloistering myself in my house pretty much the whole time, with one break to go over to Biogirl's house to help her put up her tree and otherwise get her yule decoration on. Although I am not a Christmas tree or decor person I do like that I know people who are and that I can participate in it to some extent. I rather like it in short bursts. Like, for an afternoon is perfect.

And now it's December, which, yikes.

Happy Friday, all. Please start it off with yodel along with Mr. Ing-Ling-ias.