How I can turn breadmaking into a tearjerker

There is a lot of stuff changing in my life right now, and I feel like the train is moving fast and I am holding on to the caboose for dear life, my feet flying out behind me. Most of it is stuff that I can't talk about on the bloggie (omg don't you HATE coy shit like that?) but all of a sudden Nordic Boy and I are making plans for the Next Phase in Our Lives. Doesn't that sound like a soap opera? Or the tagline for some sort of menopause commercial? Or I guess I should say menopause medication commercial. They don't really make ads for menopause itself.


And, just in case you are one of Nordic Boy's aunts out there, the Next Phase in Our Lives does not mean I am preggers.

So this weekend was full of talking and prepping and thinking and percolating. Also spreadsheets were involved. You know shit is about to get exciting when you bust out a spreadsheet! Am I right?

In other news, my parents bought Nordic Boy a present, just because he's awesome. I love the fact that my parents and Nordic Boy are so close. I am for serious, I could boohoo just thinking about it. There was a point where my dad was in the hospital a few years ago, and he was just as sick as could be, and when he came home he was too weak to walk into the house on his own, and the ambulance driver offered to lift my dad out of the vehicle, but my dad said "I'd like my son to do that please," and Nordic Boy stepped right up and carried my little dad all the way into the house, and helped him into his pajamas and got him into bed, and my dad looked at him and said "thank you, kiddo" and I could see the two of them look into each other's faces for a second, and it was a huge moment in my life, let me tell you. You can't beat that, man, you really can't.

Anyway, this is the most roundabout tangent-ridden way on earth to tell you that Nordic Boy was enamored of my folks' bread machine the last time we were there, and they up and bought him one and had it sent to our house and it has been like Christmas come early. My only fear is that Nordic Boy will now unceasingly stuff me with carbs until I burst open. I guess that's not a bad way to go.

So life planning and carbs was basically how I spent my weekend. Oh, and also last night there was a crazy scuffling sound outside our front door, and when we looked outside, there were two giant raccoons on our porch. They had made a really weird, loud noise to get our attention like that and I think they were either fighting or having racoon loving. When they saw Nordic Boy's face in the window, they both stood up and raised their arms up as if to say "you want a piece of this?" We decided that we really did not want a piece of that, and let them be. Raccoons are bad ASS.

Also, I tagged along with Nordic Boy to the bookstore. I didn't really go for my own purposes, so while he was looking for his deal, I went over to the Humor section to take a look at the new Mindy Kaling book. I feel a lot of pressure to read Mindy Kaling's book, because she is a hip Indian lady, and so I feel like I am OBLIGATED. It's like how I feel obligated to like MIA. I have two whole pop culture role models, which is two more than I ever had as a kid, so having two feels OVERWHELMING. I mean, when I was a child I liked Jacqueline Smith the best out of the Charlie's Angels because she was the DARKEST. That was about as much hope as I had in my life about people looking like me. So that is the scale I am used to, people.

Anyway, the Humor section was super crowded so I went to the next section over and read the Kaling book. Turns out the next section over was the Bible section. So me, sitting in the Bible section, laughing my guts out. Lovely.

I think I might have exceeded all bounds of randomness this time around.