A Gratitude Attitude

I am going to start off today by saying something totally nauseating. Ready?

I avoid making, writing, or saying out loud any sort of "I am thankful for" lists, not because I am a grumpypants who is dead inside and can't come up with anything to say, and not because it is kind of a sappy thing to do, but because I have so much to be thankful for, from the really, really big stuff to the day-to-day minutae, that a list seems so inadequate that I just don't even start.

Are you barfing now? Just a little? More than a little? I'll wait until you're done. Go ahead. Hold your hair back and let thy cookies tosseth.

Despite the barfy nature of what I just said, I decided that today, I am going to attempt such a list. I'm not going to think about it, I am just going to start typing and let the thankfulness flow, no matter how disorganized and jumbled it all comes out and no matter what kind of goofy things I may reveal about my thanky feelings. I'm just going to blah blah blah and then click publish. Ok, so this is normally what I do anyway so maybe it's not so different except for the gratidudinal nature of the blah blah blah. You got me. But I'm still doing it. Here goes.

I'm thankful for heat. Heat in my house, heat in buildings, hot water heaters. What the hell did people do before heated houses? I don't want any part of that shit. Heat. Yes. Hallelujah.

On a related note, I am thankful for leggings that can be used in place of long unnerwears. It's just more attractive. And warm. So far I only seem to be thankful for heat-related objects but I promise to diversify from this topic now. Just know that I am also grateful for sunlight and hot chocolate and steam and gloves and warm beach sand and slippers and blankets. Heat is good.

I'm thankful for thank yous. When you're in my line of work, the thankful phrase, the look of gratitude, the sigh of relief that you've helped someone out and treated them with respect can lift me right off the ground.

I'm thankful for phones, email, video-conferencing, snail mail, and texting. I know lots of people think that we're overburdened by this stuff, and I totally get that, but I live far away from many of my loved ones and all of these things make us all seem so much closer. Now if we could just invent that transporter...

I'm thankful for Tivo. Shut up. I just am.

I'm thankful that I live in a city that still has recognizable seasons but is not buried in snow for 6 months out of the year. Oh shit, I veered right back into being thankful for heat-related topics again. Sorry. Heat is a big factor in my life.

I am thankful for my pals Allison and Map, who almost kill me with laughter every time I see them and have loved me unconditionally for my whole entire life, even through my Bananarama outfits, blue mascara, and every embarrassing crush I have ever had.

I am thankful to be kissed awake every morning.

I am thankful for colors. Aren't colors awesome? They're so goddamn colorful.

I am thankful for parents who modeled so many great things for me, including laughing hard and listening well.

I am grateful for the movie Xanadu.

I am grateful for this innate ability I have, which I don't quite know how I got, to get the hell away from draining, exhausting people. I just slice them right out, and I am so glad I know how.

I'm thankful for Biology Girl, who I can say anything to, from my shopping lists to my nonsensical musings on imaginary people to any secret that I have in my stash to big, heavy, teary talks and she is always interested. That girl will talk to me about paint drying if I wanted to.

I'm thankful that I never had really big, tall 80s bangs.

I'm thankful that I know what it's like to be poor, lonely and sad. I'm even more thankful that I'm no longer any of these things.

I'm thankful I can speak the language my ancestors spoke.

I'm thankful that my years as a dancer didn't leave me with ugly feet.

I'm thankful for Nordic Boy, a stand-up guy, all salt of the earth and stuff, who has never been mad at me for one second or even slightly perturbed by me no matter what kind of shit I pull and who cracks me up and dances with me and cooks me up dinners and is so frickin' consistent about everything it's crazy and who is by far the smartest person I know and who looks at me all moony and also is totally sultry. I know. He sounds too good to be true. But he is. So, so true.

I am thankful for kind people, in all situations and places.

I am thankful for the word succubus.

I am thankful that places like Ace Hardware and Ikea play cheesy oldies so that I can relive my youth. Where else would I hear "Don't wanna lose you now" by Gloria Estefan, which is a song we had to sing in choir back in the day?

I am thankful for my pal Neighbor J, who writes bad poetry with me that makes us cry with laughing and is the only person I know who can keep up with me in clothes-shopping and who feels like a family member in the best possible way.

I'm thankful I have nice hair that covers the fact that I have a small head under it all.

I told you this list would go on and on if I started. I feel like I am just getting warmed up but I will spare your having to hear any more since I already made you feel barfy once and no blog post should have multiple pukey points.

So, to wrap this all up, I am thankful that I am me. I like that I know who I am and that I don't quite fit in with anyone but in that misfittery I manage to fit in with everyone, and that I have a super genial disposition wherein I don't get mad a lot and that I'm from where I'm from and I know who I know and that I take care of my body and myself first before I take care of anyone else and I don't ever feel guilty about that and that I write people snail mail letters and cards and that I always make room in my life for the people that I like and that I rock the librarian gig on the daily and that I don't have any room in my heart for bitterness which makes my life sweet sweet sweet.

And also? I'm thankful for you guys. I love reading what you have to say and you're all so ridiculously kind in your emails and comments. Blog friends are real friends, one of you said to me a while ago. Thanks for that.

Now let's stop all this gratitude and go do what this holiday is really all about. Eating until we pop out of our pants.

Happy Thanksgiving, homies.

I'm out,
Librarian Girl