I imagine that the person who invented croquet thought this to him/herself:
"If only I could make up some sort of game that would require one to look as doofy as humanly possible. Perhaps there should be squatting. Also a long mallet that you swing as if it was an out-of-control pendulum that has grown from your crotchal area that you can't help but swing with both hands. Really, it would be grand."
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