Name Gangs

Have you ever noticed that names come in bunches? Like, you'll make a new friend named Kate, and then all of a sudden you meet 6 or 9 other Kates, right in a row? Maybe you would never have noticed all the Kates lining up like that had you not had one especially highlighted for you. Or maybe people with the same name travel in groups, springing themselves upon unsuspecting bystanders, drowning them in Kate-ness. I'm telling you, these roving bands of same-name people exist. I went to high school with a scary gang of people named Amy. There were four of them, joined at the hip, as they strangled people to death with rosy-cheeked, girl-next-door cuteness. I always wondered about them. Like, did they just happen to all befriend each other, regardless of the name? How did this Amy gang happen?

There was a period of time in my life when my friend Palindrome and I always ended up dating boys with matching names. I started dating a Paul, and so did she. She dated a Matt, and so did I. It went on like this for a period of about two years. It was eerie. As a matter of fact, now that I remember it, my other friend Emily was also dating a Matt at the same time we were. So three of us, all dating Matts. I have never since dated a Matt, and neither have either of the two of them, as far as I know. But for a brief period in the early 90s, we were all tripping over Matts.

There are names that crop up in my life over time as well. Some of them are understandabley ubiquitous because of the popularity of the names. Everyone my age is overrun with Jennifers and Heathers, so I suppose it's not a stretch when lots of pivotal people in my life have those names. But then there are ones that aren't so common, yet crop up two, three, four times anyway. I have two important Nancys. I had a very important Julia when I was a kid, and I do again now. I also have important Jasons. And Kevins. And not just because those are kind of common names. If that were true, I would have a Brian, an Amy, a Mike. But I don't.

I think the name gangs could all be averted if we took some advice from name visionaries like Jermaine Jackson. He named his kid Jermajesty. Now, tell me, the odds of someone meeting two people named Jermajesty in their life? Not going to happen. Or the parents who named their kid Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K (thanks, Sauntering Soul, for finding this name, you have no idea the joy it has brought me). They are insuring that their kid will share a name with no one. And god bless the parents of college football player Luscious Pusey. Pure poetry, is what that is, right there. It's enough to bring a tear to my eye.

So what name gangs have come into your lives? Comment and email. I want to know.

Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl