Almost Famous

I know that there are quite a few readers of this little blog who are currently in Library Skool, and quite a few members of that group are getting ready to graduate, interview, and take Libraryland by storm. I know that your brain is chock full of wonderful things that will prep you for your new identity as a For Reals Librarian. You've been taught legions of things, from the innards of the AACR2 to the difference between a verso and a recto, and all the ins and outs of FRBR. All good stuff, most assuredly. But here's the thing that no one tells you in Library Skool. You, my dear graduate school students, especially those of you who are getting ready to work with the public, are on the verge of bonafide, genuine celebrity. You're about to be a star. A big star. And I'm here to give you a little tip on how to handle that.

So, let's say you're going to be a reference librarian. There you'll sit, day in and day out, helping everyone who approacheth your mighty brain circuitry with style and aplomb. Even people who never come up to actually talk to you at the desk will see you as they walk by. Your face will be burned into their consciousness. They will feel like they know you, even if you've never really registered who they are.

When I first started as a librarian, I was unaware of how this all worked. Until one day, when I was browsing in my local Storables store, and I heard the following conversation, coming from two teen boys on the other side of the aisle from me, who apparently had the mentality that if I couldn't SEE them, I couldn't hear them either.

Boy 1: Dude, did you see that girl?
Boy 2: What?
Boy 1: I just saw that librarian.
Boy 2: Who?
Boy 1: You know, that librarian that works at X library. With the black hair?
Boy 2: Yeah, so what?
Boy 1: Dude, she's hot.
(this, my friends, started to brighten my day, until...)
Boy 2: Ugh! No she's not!

I shall not start debating with you on the relative genius of Boy #1 and the obvious mental impairment of Boy #2. My point is, rather, that I was out at a store, and these random people, who I don't remember ever seeing before, knew me from my job at the library. I may have interacted with them at some point, or they may just hang out at the library and have seen me from afar. But they knew me. They had taken note of me. I had become a celebrity librarian.

Now, at first, this took some getting used to. I would walk in to the grocery store, head down, just wanting to get in there to buy my oatmeal, oranges and Izzy soda and head out the door, when I would hear "Hi, Librarian!" I'd look up to see the person working the deli counter, smiling and giving me a wave. I always felt awkward, not knowing them back. It was like being at a party where someone comes up and says "hi" to you by name, and you have to be the big dork and sputter out some nameless "hi" back to them, sure that they'll be offended that you so obviously don't have a frigging clue as to who they are.

So, all you Almost For Reals Librarians reading this, I am here to tell you. Embrace the celebrity. You are a public figure now. Work it, own it. If you need help on how to do this, watch famous people on the red carpet. When the papparazzi and fans yell out Julia Roberts' name, she gives a good, full face smile, and waves. Do you think she has any idea who she's waving at? No, she doesn't. She just does it. And that's what you have to do, too.

I went to my local bakery today, and as I walked out the door, a man said to me: "Hey, Librarian Girl!" (And yes, he actually said the words "Librarian Girl." I'm not just saying that). To which I looked right back at him, waved, and said "Hey! How are you?" like I'd known him all my life. He said, "Great!" and I said "Nice to see you!" and was on my way. That's how it has to be done, my friends. It'll feel weird at first, but trust me. It's the graceful thing to do.

So, Library Skool graduates, promise me this. Be a good celebrity, the kind who will stop for the masses. Not the bad kind who throws cell phones at people and forgets to wear underwear. That's all I'm saying.

Addendum: I forgot to mention that the whole reason I got to thinking about this celebrity stuff is because I went and had me a random celebrity sighting. This weekend, I was walking down the street, and right there, in front of Barney's, was Clinton Kelly from "What Not to Wear." I was talking on my cell phone as we passed in the crosswalk, and I noticed him. And he noticed me noticing him. And he flashed his pearly whites at me. I, being the graceful young lady that I am, smiled back and said, as clear as day, right in Clinton's range of hearing, into my cell phone: "Oh my god, I'm looking at Clinton Kelly!" Classy, yes? The even worse thing about that is that the person I was talking to (Nordic Boy) had absolutely no appreciation for who the heck I was talking about.

Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl