He Loves You, Yeah Yeah Yeah

So from the chronicles of my life so far, you guys have gathered that I tend to laugh at things. I am a giggly girl and things often strike me as funny. Even things that may not, at face value, seem funny. Like Tucker Carlson. Or "Wild Boys" by Duran Duran. Or "The Good The Bad and The Ugly." (Come on! Lee Van Cleef? Totally hilarious.)

I am often amazed at the things people DON'T find funny. Some of you people out there are SO SERIOUS. Funny things just keep happening on a daily basis and I find myself the only one laughing. Ok, now I am just coming off as a crazy person, laughing in the corner with my collection of pushpins. So let me give you a quintessential example of this, from the archives of my life.

When I was at University (look at me talking all fake British like Madonna), I had a class with one of those professors that is revered. You know the type- they tend to have groupies, and they go on speaking tours to exotic places like Pullman, Washington, and they are known as Verified Experts on Important Subjects. This professor would name drop in his class lectures. "Funny you should mention Buddhism, because when I was having dinner with Thich Nhat Hanh..." or "yes, you are right about the current political administration, as Noam was just telling me the other day." He had a scholarly beard that he would pull on when Thinking Deeply. For all my snarkyness while relaying this story to you, he was a good professor and I was lucky to be in his class. I'm just trying to convey that he was a card-carrying member of the Intelligentsia Brigade.

It so happened that I wrote a paper for his class that he wanted to discuss with me further. I was summoned to his office during office hours. I had done well on the paper, so I wasn't worried that he had called me in to tell me how much I sucked, but still, I was nervous. I was young enough to be intimidated by him having cocktail wieners with Thich and Cosmopolitans with Noam.

When I got to his office and we sat down to discuss the paper, it was a revelation. He was deflated somehow, a real person who hesitated when he talked and had to blow his nose and all kinds of human stuff like that. His pomp was gone, and he was perfectly pleasant, and even shy and socially awkward, like a nerdy boy grown up.

As we wrapped up our short meeting, I could tell that he didn't quite know how to end things. It was a little uncomfortable, as he wasn't giving me a cue to leave, but it was clear that the meeting was coming to a close. I didn't want him to give me a stern "that'll be all" like Captain Picard or anything like that, but there are ways for the authority figure in a meeting to close off the discussion. Like a "well, thanks for coming in," or a "well it was good to talk to you, see you in class" or something like that. Just when I was going to jump in to help him out by saying something like this myself, THIS happened:

Him: Well...I really...love you...
Me: (snapping to attention in shock)
Him: (looking horrified) I mean, I really loved what you WROTE.
Me and Him: (pause pause)

Ok, now TELL ME THAT ISN'T FUNNY. Wouldn't you have laughed? From either perspective. If you were me...funny. If you were him...funny! Embarrassing, yes. I get that. But the funny-licious-ness. It outweighs the embarrassing.

So, I really wanted to laugh. But more than that, I really wanted HIM to laugh first. So we could laugh together. Ha ha, that was funny, look at us sharing a laugh, no big deal. But he didn't. He didn't laugh! What kind of freaky no-emotion glassy eye robot people ARE these that don't think this shit is funny?

I stifled my laughing and kept a straight face. "Thanks. I appreciate that." And I got the hell out of there. And I laughed my ass off all the way home.

Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl