Friday, November 17, 2006

"Every night in my dreams, I see you..."

That's the first line to that Titanic song, in case you didn't catch that. See me being clever?

Ok you guys, this is the deal and it's not good. I had a dream with Celine Dion in it the other night. I am not going to regale you with the details of the dream, as people always try and explain their dreams and they are never as riveting to other people as they are to the dreamer. Unless you're IN the dream, then you want to hear all about it. Am I right? And since I am doubting that any of you reading this is Celine Dion, I'm not getting into it.

So, a couple of days went by after this dream, and although I was mildly disturbed that Celine had showed up in my subconscious, I didn't really think about it too much. I am, after all, the Pop Culture Librarian. Pop culture figures run through my brain all the time. Yes, I would have preferred to have Cary Grant show up in my head while I'm asleep, but whatever. Celine can traipse through if she wants. But then, two nights ago, it happened AGAIN. Celine! Get out of here! She wasn't doing anything menacing (unless her very Celine-ness can be counted as menacing, which, actually, it was). So then, it bothered me a bit more. I don't even remember the last time Celine Dion has entered my waking consciousness. I haven't heard her big voice lately. I haven't seen her stick body either. Neighbor J and I haven't had a laugh over the fact that Neighbor B once called her "Cilantro Diaz." Will this continue? Will I awake each morning, freaked out like that kid in the Sixth Sense, whispering "I see anorexic people"?

So yesterday, I showed up to work, and as I was sitting at the reference desk, my eye strayed to the display shelf across the way from where I sit. It's a display shelf of oversize coffee table books. Here's what I see.







This is right across the desk from me, people. As I type on the reference desk computer each day, Celine is staring at me over the top of my screen. Even when I am not looking at her, she is in my peripheral vision. All day. And right next to her is this.








So, I've got the two of them. Two pairs of glassy stares, burning a hole in my forehead. Eight hours a day, every day. Celine with that baby that she's clutching like a football, and Julia with that gigantic hair. Staring. Stop it! Stop staring at me! Freaky cyborg ladies!

So this morning, when I go in, I am going to switch up the coffee table books. If I want to see Celine, I'll get my ass to Vegas.

Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl

13 comments:

Darlene said...

hmmmm...dreams of Celine....guess it could be worse...well, maybe not. I had a dream the other night that I was dancing with Ricky Martin in this nightclub, but then the nightclub turned into my kitchen, but Ricky Martin remained Ricky Martin, so all was okay.... ;o)

Anonymous said...

And what makes you think that if I'm stalking you in your dreams, that I wouldn't be stalking you here on your blog as well? I WILL HAUNT YOU UNTIL YOU GIVE IN AND CHANGE ALL THE RADIOS IN YOUR HOME AND CAR TO "LITE ROCK". If you don't give in, I'll see you again tonight in dreamland dearie, and this time I'll bring along my partner ...

MICHAEL BOLTON!!!

Muawh hah Hah ha ha ha ha ha!!

Librarian Girl said...

Oh my god that was so frightening.

Sphincter said...

That's just disturbing.

Anonymous said...

... I feel you! That is how I know you ... go onnnnnnnnnnnnn

Methinks it's time to bring sexy back to get Celine out of my head. :)

Anonymous said...

Regarding creepy shit staring you down at the reference desk:

I made new theft deterrent signs to pin up all over my library place of employment. I thought they were pretty amusing and effective when I was making them, but now I'm not so sure. The signs consist of a half page tall, extreme close up of an eyeball and a note saying "Prevent theft: Keep an eye on your stuff." The eyeball is FREAKING ME OUT. Stop looking at me you clip art jerk!

Anonymous said...

Okay, I think I have to stop reading your blog at work. This one had me on the verge of laughing out loud. Instead, I chose to go for the smiling-like-a-maniac-at-the-reference-desk routine. I think I may have actually scared a few patrons away.

Lisa said...

So I just sat up straighter to see what's watching me from our displays: it's a backside. Our display "Are You Ready for Some Football?" has a footballer's fanny on the cover.

e-Lizabeth said...

Wow. Celine, eh? Random Canadian singers in your dreams...I'm so sorry...really. Canadians feel a special need to apologize for Celine. Just another service we offer. :)

Melinda said...

Dude, Celine Dion really brings in the comments. I can see why, though. She is, after all, my lady. And I am her man. Whenever she reaches for me, I do all that I can.

Katie Kiekhaefer said...

Dear god... i do not like her at all. Nor do i like that Anne Geddes lady (google image her... all those babies! it's terrifying!). But those two combined? Horrendous! That freaky book was in some random book display in the front window of the university bookstore and I literally stopped dead in my tracks and recoiled.

Katie Kiekhaefer said...

Dear god... i do not like her at all. Nor do i like that Anne Geddes lady (google image her... all those babies! it's terrifying!). But those two combined? Horrendous! That freaky book was in some random book display in the front window of the university bookstore and I literally stopped dead in my tracks and recoiled.

Katie Kiekhaefer said...

whoops. well, that's how much i do not like that book--i post twice about it!