Consumables #79

Ok, so I just looked back at the bloggie and I haven't talked about books for months! MONTHHHHS. What sort of cockamamie librarian am I? I mean, honestly. What in the Sam Hill is going on around these parts?

To be fair, one major thing that has been going on around here, of course, is the fact that my reading habits were majorly stymied after my dad died. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, and for the first time in my literate life, I wasn't reading. At first it was because I just wasn't able to focus on anything for more than a few minutes due to extreme SPACEY-NESS which has nothing to do with Kevin Spacey although I kind of want it to be related to that, but rather a much-increased talent for glassy-eyed staring. Then when the Kevin Spacey-ness wore off a little bit I just sort of started avoiding reading because one of the great pleasures of reading in my life, for me, has been talking about books with my dad. And the thought of reading something and not calling my dad to talk about it was kind of unbearable to me. Then, some friends of mine said that they were going to do "Infinite Summer," which, if you haven't heard of that, is a thing that people do where they take a whole summer to form a book club just in order to read Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace, which is a honkin' 5 million pages long (ok, so it's 1200 pages or so but same diff). And I gathered my non-reading, Kevin Spacey, glassy-eyed self and said SIGN ME UP. Because, hey! I haven't been able to page through anything for weeks and weeks but a book the size of Dwayne Johnson's beefy left buttock? SURE THING GUYS!

Good news: it did get me reading again. I read about 75 pages, just because all my friends were doing it. And then that made me think: hey! I can read again! HOORAY FOR PEER PRESSURE! Kids, peer pressure can be really an awesome thing, is what no one tells you. Anyway. After 75 pages, I really, really, truly, hand-over-heartedly, did not want to read another goddamn page of that goddamn book. At least right now. I keep reading blogs and articles that say you really have to read through page 200 before shit gets good. And I understand that 200 pages out of 1200 is really not that far into the whole dang thing. BUT. I think that in my current state of affairs, asking me to wait 200 pages of having feelings of Totalis Snoozefestius is kind of asking too much of me, at this juncture. So, I am declaring Infinite Summer over for me. Sad horns!

However, I have moved on to many other books that are a reasonable amount of pages (I mean, honestly 1200 pages? GET TO THE POINT DUDE) and although I still have this visceral feeling of wanting to pick up the phone and talk to my dad about them, I am dealing with it. I still have you guys to talk bookishness with! For this time, I'll forgo my usual lightning round of books and just do one. I'll catch you up with more soon.

Eleanor and Park, by Rainbow Rowell
My friend Alli had a guy friend in high school named Steve and they were majorly in love with each other, only they didn't really say anything about it. They were friends, and weren't dating, but their underwear practically went up in flames when they were around each other. They would watch movies together at her house and they didn't make out or anything but they did this thing that can only really be described as petting each others' faces. Like, can you picture what that means? They would caress each other, on the face. AND THAT IS IT. To this day that is the funniest, weirdest shit I can think of and I adore it so much. Such pent up sexy feelings and no way to express them! I GUESS I WILL PET YOUR FACE? CAN WE MAKE THAT A THING? Anyway, this book will make you think about being in love as a teen because it's intense, and overwhelming, and really powerful. I have seen some reviewers say that they didn't like it because they don't see how the two characters could fall so hard and so fast for each other which, ha-what? You must not have been hanging with the teens I know (or the teen I was). It is achingly nostalgic. So much so that I think teen readers will like it but adult readers will lurve it. It is charmingly funny at some points too. Not as funny as heavy-face-petting, but funny.

More books on deck soon! Lates, my pretties!

Consumables #73

Hey, so here are some things that happened this week. Last weekend there was a big librarian conference in town (tote bags! so many tote bags!) whereby approximately 10,000 of my people came through my work place from all over to say howdy.

I also ventured out on Saturday night to go to a librarian-conference-related party. This is notable because cliquey stuff? Stresses my shit OUT. Who got invited to the HarperCollins party to hang out with the hot new YA author? Sorry, I have to run because I am having a beer with famous comics writer dude. IT IS THE WORST. I don't know what's up with me because not caring in high school or professional dance or theater should equal the Olympic Triathalon of Cliques, but yet now this caca makes me feel like this.

So at any rate, I got myself gussied up (I even did my hurrs), made sure there were going to be two people that I know and like there (because I am 14 years old), and went. I walked to the party to find that it was full and they were turning people away (I got velvet roped from a librarian party! SRSLY YOU GUYS), so then I got a text from a friend who said I should go to a different publisher party, so I walked over there, but then I decided to just bail and meet up with a friend who was at a bar so I tromped my ass up a hill and over the freeway and then I got there and the door guy wouldn't let me in because I had lost my driver's license and it was like he was Andrew Dice Clay and I was Duckie Dale. So, I turned my ass around and went home. It was a really great 3 hours of my life.

Did you notice the bright side in that story? The door guy wouldn't let me in without my ID. RALPH MALPH IT WITH ME, everyone!: "I still got it."

Let's get back to what really makes me happy. Books, movies, and teevees. Take that, SOCIETY.

Books!
33 Minutes, by Todd Lowy-Hasak
Imagine the show "24" but instead of Keifer Sutherland fighting terrorism in 24 hours, you have Sam, a 7th grader who is about to get his butt kicked at recess 33 minutes from now by his ex-best friend. Good for 4th-6th graders. I liked it because it wasn't a bullying book (not that there's anything wrong with that) but rather a story about friends who get mad at each other and fisticuffs get invoked. Which happens when you're a kid. Hopefully not after that.

Creepy Carrots, by Aaron Reynolds, illustrated by Peter Brown
A funny, scary story about carrots who stalk a greedy bunny. If you're a kid that can handle a little creepiness (something's watching you from inside of your closet! Ahhhh!), it's great. If you're a scaredy-kid, this one actually has a bit of freak out factor, so be careful. About carrots. Yes. I know. But I stand by this advice.

Me Before You, by Jojo Moyes
The only criteria I have on deciding whether I read a book is if someone tells me to read it. "You should read this" is pretty much all it takes. As you can imagine this means that I get introduced to all types of things-- fiction, nonfiction, mystery, thriller, celebrity, western, historical, arty, sci-fi, fantasy, highbrow, lowbrow, whatever. One thing that I totally miss out on? Romance. For some reason, people don't tell me to read romances. I don't know if that's because they don't think I will like them or what. I know that people in my life are reading them. Anyway. I had this one in a pile of advance copies and had heard of it, so I read it without knowing anything about it other than it was maybe romancey. First of all, it was most definitely about love, so it totally counts. However, there was no sexy business in it. So, you know: CHECK, PLEASE. Just kidding. A little. It's the story of a woman who gets a job being a caregiver for a quadriplegic. A handsome quadriplegic, obvs. I would definitely recommend it for folks who like Nicholas Sparks and the like.

The True Meaning of Smekday, by Adam Rex
Good for adults down to 5th grade or so, this one takes a post-apocalypse and adds humor to the whole thing. I thought the tone was just great. Good if you like Terry Pratchett type humor, or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The Good Braider, by Terry Farish
I know that novels in verse drive some people crazy, but it didn't take me long to forget about the format and just take in the story. Viola is a teenager living in South Sudan with her family and no part of her life is unaffected by the war between the north and the south, as she lives with death and fear on a daily basis. This short book follows her family as they become refugees and it covers a lot of ground and manages to not feel shallow.

Liar and Spy, by Rebecca Stead
10-year-old Georges' father has lost his job and they have had to sell their home and move into an apartment in Brooklyn. Georges makes a new friend there: a home-schooled kid who is seriously into becoming a spy. They both begin investigating Mr. X, a man in their building who only wears black and comes and goes at odd hours. Stead does such a great job at not talking down to her audience, and throws in twists that are surprising but never feel unrealistic. This one's good for grownups too.

Going in Circles, by Pamela Ribon
Dysfunctional but smart, witty lady finds redemption in roller derby. You know if you're the audience for this, and if you are, you'll like it.

The Brides of Rollrock Island, by Margo Lanagan
Ok, stay with me here. This takes place in a fishing community, where the seals who live on the beach have spells cast on them by a witch whereby girls emerge from inside the seals and fishermen take them for wives. I know, it's weird. But this novel that tells this selkie tale (real talk: I had never really heard of such a thing as a selkie before this) is poetic and strange and cool. It's marketed as a teen book, and that's fine, but it seemed more adult to me.

Ok, you know what? I fibbed. This one's just going to be about books this time. Next time: movies and teevee.

Consumables #72

Last time it was movies, this time let's catch up with some books I forgot to tell you about to close out my reading in 2012. There's a lot of them, so for this time let's only do books for grown ass people.

Wolf Hall, by Hilary Mantel
Listen, I am just as Tudor obsessed as the next person. What's not to like? King Henry and all his debauched sexy business, the parade of unfortunate wives, people getting all killed up every five minutes, the Church, the government, wars, drama, intrigue, secrets, power. So what if you already know the story? Didn't we all watch Jonathan Rhys-Meyers doing the naked bootango even though we already knew the story? However! There's a lot of details in this retelling. Some people will love all the particulars. Others will wonder why this is happening to them. As for me, I liked it, I appreciated it, but by the end, I was saturated in Tudorness in way where I thought I would never want to think about them again. It's like a huge Thanksgiving meal. You enjoy it while it's happening but at a certain point if you have to eat one more bite you are going to be like that barfy guy in Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life." By the last page, I was all NOT ONE MORE TUDOR OR I SHALL BLOW LITERARY CHUNKS.

The Hope Factory, by Lavanya Sankaran
Two connected people in Bangalore: Anand, an unhappily married dedicated father and small factory owner, and Kamala, a widowed servant with a teenage son who works in Anand's house. Both try to live principled lives within complicated social and economic structures that make it almost impossible to do so. It worked on several levels: as a family story, as a social commentary, as an economic critique of globalization and more. Hey, lookee there, I had no annoying me-commentary to add about that one. That was like a straight up description and stuff. Weird.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple
A funny satire with lots of inside jokes for Seattle people thrown in (well, I guess it's Seattle-specific in the same way Portlandia is Portland-specific. But really, isn't Portlandia just as much about Park Slope or wherever just as much as Portland?). I am always interested in books like this where it's funny and snarky but rides right along the edge of being a bit mean. I think it stays on the non-mean side of things, which I always like not only because it's nicer to be that way but more so because I think it's harder to do as a writer. It can be an easier choice to be mean sometimes. Or maybe it's because I just don't like mean and so that has more to do with me than the writing. I am always thinking that I want to be funny and maybe snarky but I really, really don't want to be an asshole. Hey, how about we make this review be all about me and my neuroses? Done and done.

The Crackle and the Frost, by Lorenzo Mattotti
Let me quote from the text of this graphic novel: "How was I to orient myself during my trip toward the frontiers of fear? The only compass I had on me was Alice's letter, with all of its silences." If you are the type of person who gets a rash from sentences like that, this one is mos def not for you. The illustrations are spooky and bold- I enjoyed looking at them.

The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern
The thing that was really working for me in this one was the setting. Morgenstern creates a really interesting world that is super fun to imagine and magical and romantic. I was lucky enough to have read this on a vacation where I pretty much read most of it all in one sitting, which only added to being totally immersed. The storytelling is a bit flowery, but I found that totally appropriate.

How Should a Person Be?, by Sheila Heti
So this one gets described as being part of the whole Lena Dunham pre-Girls oeuvre (yes, effers, I said oeuvre) where one of the central questions is about how the contemporary younger lady artist plays with her own representation via mixing up fictionalized versions of herself with real stuff, etc. This is just the type of question that drives some people buh-nay-nays, but for others it's the total shit. I come down on the loving this sort of thing end of the spectrum. At least usually I do. This time though, I just couldn't. It just went to a place where the intellectualizing of Heti's life got to be unbearable to me. And believe me, I have a high threshold for loving this sort of caca.

Gone Girl, by Gillian Flynn
What everyone else says is true: compulsively readable, interesting, fun. It's interesting to me that so many people loved this book so much because I usually find that many people don't like to read unlikable characters and I found this one to be chock full of hah-rible people.

The Middlesteins, by Jami Attenberg
There are those sad novels about sad people who have dysfunctional families/relationships and bleak luck and reams of hopeless disappointment with no end in sight, and the author somehow makes it simultaneously depressing and beautiful. This book was one of those.

Top of the Rock: Inside the Rise and Fall of Must See TV, by Warren Littlefield
This books was so weirdly written. The format was distracting to me. Each chapter focused on a particular show (Seinfeld, for example) and the editor interviewed a bunch of people about that show (actors, executives, producers, writers) and then there are just a bunch of quotes from these people, one after another, like a disjointed script. That's it. Good for people that really care about things like time-slot wars (guilty!), and not so good for people that just want dish.

The Wandering Falcon, by Jamil Ahmad
A man and a woman have run away from their village and had a child just outside a military fort in the area where Afghanistan and Pakistan meet. This child's life is loosely followed as he travels from place to place until adulthood in this series of interconnected short stories that describes the region, politics, societies, and people of this area pre-9/11. The stories are that lovely mixture that can sometimes happen where everything is simply told but impossibly complex at the same time. I don't usually do favorites, but this one would be in the running for my top pick of 2012.

The Round House, by Louise Erdrich
This one would would also be in my top picks for the year. Essentially it's the story of a 13-year-old boy whose mother has been raped at the beginning of the book. He and his father, who is a tribal judge (they are Ojibwe) spend the book trying to find the perpetrator and bring him to justice. It's a family story, a story about tribal land rights and politics, a coming of age story, an everything story, really. Characters are great, the language is great, the pace and plot are engrossing, the setting is vivid, the story is straightforward if you want to read it that way but there are layers underneath everything too if you want to dig for them. Sometimes writers are so good at what they do that it sort of makes me a little mad. This was one of those.

Consumables #60

A co-worker came to my office on Friday and simply said: "There's a little bit of sun peeking through out there right now! If you want to see any, go now! GO NOW!" And I dropped what I was doing, put my coat on, and went outside. It was still butt cold and windy, but I got that sun while it was here. I got you, sun! I got you! HA HA HA HA HAAAAA.

This is the state of mind I had when entering my weekend.

It turned out pretty dang good- I had not one solid plan for the whole weekend which felt really lovely. I usually like to have a plan or two in the hopper but this time around I really needed to just freeball it. And ew, sorry I just said freeball it.

Freeballing (and is it just me or can that term not be used without a paralyzing desire to sing Tom Petty? Now I'm FREE! FREEBALLIN'!) consisted of lots of take-out food and couch time, two brunches out (one with Biogirl and the other with Biogirl, Nordic Boy and Delium), a teatime meet up with Jenny where she accidentally shot a pony tail holder at a man at the next table, and that's really about the perfect level of excitement that I needed.

That's about all I have to say, so let's talk about what's happening with me and the pop cultures lately.

Project Runway All Stars

It hurts me when Mondo acts like a whiney buttmunch. Stop it Mondo! Go back to being adorbs.

Being Elmo

Documentary about the muppeteer who plays Elmo. I think it must be my generation but I am enthralled by most things muppet. I don't think this was the best documentary ever in terms of how it was put together and there were things that I wished they would have asked Clash about and they didn't, but still, I was all over it.

Staying Alive

I was in a grumpy mood last week and so I fired up this puppy, and man, did it do me right. Stallone directs Travolta in the sequel to Saturday Night Fever! Travolta gets oiled up and puts on a headband and a speedo-sized dance belt and does horrifying contempo jazzercise moves! There are smoke machines, and cage dancing! Oh it's masterful.

My Week with Marilyn

As a person who has watched classic movies over and over again, including everything Marilyn Monroe was ever in, I was super excited to see this. The Prince and the Showgirl (which is the movie that is featured within this movie) is interesting to begin with not because it's a great movie- I don't think it is although that can be argued for sure- but because it brings together Olivier and Monroe. The behind the scenes stories about this collaboration are legendary by now, and so trying to make My Week with Marilyn seems like such a daunting thing to do, and so I want to give it a pass on what I thought were some weak points. I thought Kenneth Branagh as Olivier was awesome, and I wanted to believe Michelle Williams as Monroe and sometimes I did, but other times I didn't, but maybe I was being a dick about that, I can't decide. Also, I think they overplayed Monroe's insecurities. Not that I think that she didn't have them and ultimately was probably ruled by them, but I wished they would have explored that in a less obvious way. Wow, this is getting dangerously close to a sort of review of the movie and we all know I don't really do that, so I'll stop. Oh, one more thing, and now you know I am getting way nitpicky, but Marilyn Monroe was not that skinny. I know we don't seem to have anything but waifs on the screen anymore, but seeing tiny Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe seemed really odd to me.

Kingdom Keepers #1, by Ridley Pearson

The first in a series about a group of kids who can turn themselves into holograms (sort of) and transport themselves into Disneyland at night after it has closed, where they battle the evil Disney characters who come alive. It's better than it sounds. I admit it did not appeal to me as an adult lady but I can see the kid appeal for sure, especially if they have been to Disneyland or Disneyworld or whatever.

Parade's End, by Ford Madox Ford

This book is about 7.4 million pages long with tiny font so technically I have not finished it yet, and I will likely read it in chunks throughout the year, but I have read enough of it to talk about it now. It is a book written for my inner old man (there is a part of my reading taste that is 80 years old) so if you have that part of you you will like this, I think. It's set during World War I in England, and there are class divides and political upheavals and some romance too, although it's not romantic. Think of it like Downton Abbey but less soap opera-ish and with lots more long-winded discussions of Tories and the disintegration of moral codes and the like. It's going to be made into an HBO/BBC tv series soon, so if you don't want 7.4 million pages, wait for that.

Fashion lectures

For the past couple of months Biogirl and I have been spending every other Thursday night attending a series of fashion lectures at the University of Washington museum (the Henry Gallery). The lectures were focused on the first half of the 20th century, so we got to hear about everything from the decline of corsets to the rise of the little black dress. The lectures were more philosophical and historical than anything, and I wished the lecturer would have blitzed us with a ton more slides (people who are interested in clothes want to hear about clothes, yes, but really we want to see lots of clothes more than anything). I don't have much to say on this other than to plug the idea of doing something like this on a topic that interests you. It's worth the time to try it.

Have a good week, everyone! Seattleites, take heart. Marvember will not be here much longer.

Consumables #45: Just Ducky

I have started to use the phrase "fuck a DUCK" way too much lately. Last night, I said it one too many times and Nordic Boy had to say back "will you leave those poor ducks ALONE?" And yes, I really should leave those poor ducks alone.


In other duck fucking news (I have two whole things to say about that phrase in one day! That's weird), a long time ago I used that phrase on Facebook and people clicked Like a bunch of times and then my friend Lola said "I fooked a dook and I liked it." And so now that phrase makes me sing that Katy Perry song with those words plugged in pretty much every time. And now you will too. You're welcome, America!

In other news, can you all tell me how to properly fold a burrito? Nordic Boy and I have totally different techniques and he claims that mine looks like I am diapering something. I don't want to diaper my burritos! I feel like I need to break up with that technique, immediamente.

I shall stop talking that nonsense now and talk a different sort of nonsense. Consumables ahoy!

Movies!
Harry Potter 7.2
Unabashed LOVED IT. So many things about it to love- I'm not even going to get into it. If you are a fan, you know why it rocks, and if you aren't, my explaining the levels isn't going to make you care. I think we're going to see it in the theater again this weekend. I know- my geekometer just blew up.
So much so that I actually think this trailer that recuts HP as if it was a romcom is adorbs.



A Murder of Crows
Our house, like pretty much everyone's is surrounded by crows. I, unlike most people it seems, like them. I think they are beautiful. Yes, yes, they are a scourge, I know. But really, who are we to talk? We are so the scourgiest. Anyway, this documentary about crows was supah cool. So many interesting things about them, not the least of which is that if you cross one, they will remember your face for literally years. And talk shit about you to their friends.



Modern Views: A documentary on Northwest Architecture
Got 45 minutes to watch something about sweet midcentury Northwest architecture? I do. Delish.

Seattle Channel Video can be played in Flash Player 9 and up

Books!
Decoded, by Jay-Z
Beautifully designed book that features essays by Jay-Z on the context and history of hip hop from not every angle, but a lot of angles: political, artistic, historical, cultural. I bought a lot of his arguments, and didn't buy others. I think fans of Jay-Z would love this, as well as anyone engaged with hip hop culture. Much of the book focuses on close reads and break downs of Jay-Z lyrics.

Other stuff!
Hunger Games movie publicity
Are we concerned about this movie? I am concerned about this movie. I mean, come on. Look at the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Peeta looks like he is a bully from the Karate Kid movies. It just don't seem right, people.

I am going into my weekend with the blind and unfounded faith that it will be glorious weather and I shall frolic outside with abandon the entire next 48 hours. What? It could happen.

Happy Friday, all.

Passion Pit: Moth's Wings

Because their names just have always sounded dirty to me

Email exchange of the week.


(Concerning the announcement from JK Rowling this week. The one that I really wanted to mean a prequel series, but turned out to be something I am way less excited about).

Friend: Are you bummed? Or is it enough that there will be "additional material?"

Me: BOO!

Friend: You're going to end up a star of the HP fanfic community.

Me: Only if it's slash fanfic. Dobby and Barty Crouch, together at last!

Friend: HA I would so read that.

Me: "Just give me a piece of clothing, Barty! Just one!"

Friend: Oh lords. That is hilarious.


Because I am here to entertain in totally inappropriate ways.

Consumables #41

Two Consumables in one week! I should be paid extra for that!


1. Witches of the East End, by Melissa de la Cruz

At Book Expo there were all sorts of publishers there with galley copies of upcoming books, handing them out to people who might be able to add to the buzz.* Oh yes, I am so important, I can create buzz. Not really, but you think I am going to tell those suckers that? How would I get a gigantic boxful of galleys to bring home with me then? Anyway, I picked this one up from my pile at random, and also a little bit because I am familiar with de la Cruz's teen stuff (this is her first novel for adults). This one is set in the Hamptons, and stars a family of three witches. With all the zombies and vampires running around literary land (and now fairies too), seeing a good old fashioned witch was sort of refreshing. It was still super frothy and would appeal to teens even more than her teen books, I think, because the story was like her teen stuff, only with plenty of the sexy bidness. Which makes it a novel for adults, but let's face it, teens want books with the sexy bidness in it too.

2. Home improvement shows

Nordic Boy watches home improvement shows sometimes, and they make him, out of anger, pop an o-ring. (This is a favorite phrase of Nordic Boy's. To pop one's o-ring. That means to get rageful. It has to do with plumbing. Trust me, he tells me it's hill-air). It drives him to a poopy pants state when someone Norm Abrams like, who has the fanciest tools around that will laser draw all your cuts for you and then execute those cuts with a press of a button, does this and then says something like "and there you go! Once you learn that trick, you can make mitered joints in seconds!" I found Nordic Boy yelling at the screen last night: "THAT IS NOT A TRICK! THAT IS NOT A TRICK! AUTOMATION DID IT FOR YOU! YOUR VIEWERS CAN'T AFFORD THAT SAW! THAT IS NOT CRAFTSMANSHIP! GAHHHHH!" I don't know why he puts himself through that. Maybe it's the same part of the brain that causes me to watch the Bachelorette, which makes me pop an o-ring.

3. The Bachelorette

OMG, you guys. I really was so ready to not watch the shitstorm anymore. And then I got sick, and watched all the teevees, and saw an episode. And now I am back in. GODDAMN ME. But come on, the guy who wore a Zorro mask for the first few episodes, so that she would fall in love with the Real Him? And how she had spent probably a collective 4 or 5 hours in some guy named Bentley's presence (cue Jon Cryer as Duckie: "his name is Bentley? That's a car, not a name!") and when he left the show, she TOOK TO HER BED because she was devastated by the loss! I don't do the Real Housewives, or the Jersey Shore, or anything like that, but this one: I just can't not look at it. I can't. O-ring be damned.
4. I don't really find celebrities hot. I don't know why, I just don't. I never watch a movie and think "ooh, Ryan Reynolds, homina homina." Instead, I think, really? Ryan Reynolds? Why? I just don't think that I can have a crush on anyone based solely on their looks. So, no fantasizing about McDreamy or McSteamy or McFeely (wait, that's the Mister Rogers guy) or whatever. I do, however, have friend crushes. Like, I have looked at people and thought "we would so totally be friends." For instance, I am convinced in a completely (well 98%) non-stalker-ish way that Amy Poehler and I would be total besties. I also feel that Kate Winslet and/or Emma Thompson (I don't know, the two of them have to come in a set, right?) and I could have a pint together, no probs. I have always found Ewan McGregor completely charming in interviews and like him in a non-hubba-hubba way.*** I couldn't make you a long list like that, but I could make you a list. The latest friend-crush I have? Luke Burbank and Jen Andrews on TBTL. I listen to their podcast on my way to work in the morning and am pretty sure I am conducting an imaginary friendship with both of them.

5. I know this has made its way around the intertubes a bunch, but my fake friends Luke and Jen play the audio from this often, and it makes me laugh every. fucking. time.



*I am sure I must have mentioned the dude that my friends and I eavesdropped on at Coastal Kitchen this one time, where he was obviously on a date, and trying to impress his lady friend with high falutin' intellectual talk** and our favorite quote from this 21st century Keats was on the subject of his artwork and the effect that he wanted it to have on the world. "I just want to make a dent in the buzz, man," he said. A dent. In the buzz. Oh, lady, if you ended up bedding that dude later, I just don't even know what to say to you.

**otherwise known as jibber jabber

***homina homina and hubba hubba in one post! Just wanted to point that out in case you missed it.

Later gators. Tell me, who is your imaginary celebrity friend?
 

Consumables #39

Here's what my brain et lately.

Books!


Lost and Found, by Shaun Tan
I adore Shaun Tan. The end.

Emily, Alone by Stewart O'Nan
Character study to the max. Emily is a widow who spends her days thinking about her life and her death, hanging with her beloved dog, meeting up with her pal Arlene for buffet, and keeping contact with her kids and grandkids. I like how kind O'Nan is to his characters, and how Emily is a person who spends most of her time alone, but isn't lonely.

The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex, by Kristen Schaal and Rich Blomquist
I didn't quite know what this book was going to be, and I still don't.

Movies!

Eyes of Tammy Faye
Documentary about Tammy Faye. I thought it was sad, on a lot of levels. Yes, it was campy too, but mostly sad.

Agora
Sound editing drove me crackers on this. Either the characters were whispering (volume up, turn it up!) or mobs were screaming (ahhh! turn it down! down!). Every five seconds. I had to stop watching because I was having thumb-on-remote fatigue.

Fast Runner
I love this movie. Love, love, love.
TV!

Dancing with the Stars
I'm going to tell you a little secret. I keep my eyes glued to the professionals for this show, not the stars. It's sort of like watching with half a brain, or with one eye shut. I just block out Ralph Macchio or Kirstie Alley and focus on the dancers. And I also lean heavily on the fast forward button. Really I think I probably watch about 10 full minutes of an hour long show.

Music!

Pat Benatar's Love is a Battlefield came on when we were making dinner the other night. After a few moments of silence, this was said.
 
Nordic Boy: I really love this song.
Me: Me too!
Nordic Boy: Like, not ironically. I just really love it, for real.
Me: (with relief) ME TOO.
Nordic Boy: (nodding thoughtfully) I'm glad we've had this moment.
Me: Me too.
 

Consumables #38

There are library systems that do competitions for kids around books. Some places call it Battle of the Books, some places call it Global Reading Challenge, some places call it Book Knowledge Cage Match. Ok so I made that last one up, but the idea is that elementary age kids all read a set of books, and then there is a sort of quiz bowl style competition about them. In some places, this takes place as a library program. In other places, it's a school thing. In my town, it's a library system and school district thing, and it is HUGE. The vast majority of kids in public schools participate, and it is all kinds of awesome. The enthusiasm that gets stirred up in these little kids about books warms the cockles of my heart like I don't know what. I wish you could see it. Kids make signs to support their school team, they do cheers, they jump up and down with excitement. It's like a football game, but about reading. Librarian heaven, I tell you what.

 

Seattle's version of this is happening as we speak, and next week I get to go observe a few matches at some schools. This is a build-up to the semi-final and final rounds which match up the top teams from throughout the city, which I will also get to see this year. This is the first year in a while that I get to go see this stuff and I am totally and completely PSYCHED.

 

In preparation for this, I've spent my reading time (most of which is on the bus, so while my ass is sliding all around that bus seat, I am at least getting some reading done) reading all of the books for Little Kid Book Quiz Bowl 2011. Because, hey, what if a teammate has some sort of reading injury (strained eyeball? crinked neckbone?) and they can't play? I am sure they would love to call in a librarian in her 30s to save the day, so I have to be prepared, right? RIGHT?

 

This week, I have read 5 out of the 10 kids novels. I am going to a match on Monday. Will I get through the last 5 in time? Hello, weekend!

 

Number the Stars, by Lois Lowry

Set in 1943 Copenhagen, Ellen Rosen and her family are being chased by the Nazis. Her best friend Annemarie and her family do everything that they can to save them. I am a sucker for people outsmarting Nazis, defeating Nazis, thwarting Nazis, or just kicking Nazi ass in any way possible, so I don't have to tell you how I felt about this one. A great way to learn the very basics of the way 7,000 Denmark Jews were saved.

 

Alvin Ho: Allergic to Camping, Hiking, and Other Natural Disasters, by Lenore Look, illustrations by LeUyen Pham

Funny book. There aren't enough stories about people who embrace their cowardliness, is what I think. We can all relate to being scared shitless, but yet, people don't really explore this topic very much, unless it's in an "I was scared for a minute but then I overcame it" sort of way. I think this is why Scooby Doo is so popular. He and Shaggy are a couple of fraidy cats and they embrace it to high heaven. They shake, they run away, they jump into each others' arms. Express yourself, Scoob! Ghosts are scary! Alvin Ho is also someone who ain't afraid to be afraid. I kind of dug it. And I liked the drawings too.

 

How to Steal a Dog, by Barbara O'Conner

Writing for kids about being homeless without it coming off as trite is tough, and this one struck just the right chord. The main character, Georgina, lives with her mom and brother in their car, as her mom works two jobs to try to save enough money for an apartment. Georgina plans to dognap a rich person's pooch in the hopes of eventually collecting reward money, and the plan goes awry from the very beginning.

 

Morning Girl, by Michael Dorris

The story of Morning Girl and Star Boy, who live with their family in the Bahamas in 1492 (before you know who shows up). It recreates what life was like at that point in time, and ends with first contact, so no bloody stuff. Sweet and calm.

 

The Watsons Go to Birmingham-1963, by Christopher Paul Curtis

I had read this one before, a long time ago, and liked it a lot, and I still do. First of all, the family in the book live in Flint, my hometown, so holla! Give me a Flint connection and that will get me 50% on board right there. The family heads down to grandma's house in Birmingham and are there the summer that the 16th Avenue Baptist Church was bombed.

On to the rest of the books I go!

Consumables #33

Hope you all had a loverly Thanksgiving! We were invited to a couple of T-Day celebrations but after the week I just had, we decided to ditch them and stay home for the day. I finally got that cozy snow day that I had been longing for, where we slept in (and I have now firmly established myself as a Very Old Lady because "sleeping in" in my world means that we got up at 8:30), walked around in the snow (this time for more than 10 minutes), read on the couch, cooked, and beat the shit out of each other on the Wii. For dinner, Biogirl came over and we ate, talked, and watched a movie. I realized that this was the first Thanksgiving in a long time where we weren't hosting a shindig or going to someone else's hootenanny. It was nice.


Also, this week:

Elf
It was on tv, so we watched it. There is a scene in this movie that made Nordic Boy laugh until he cried and almost passed out. It's the scene where Will Farrell belches for a really long time. That's all, nothing else. If there are two things that will make Nordic Boy pee his pants laughing, it's a long belch and someone getting hit in the nuts. I hate to get all gender-stereotypey, but is that a guy thing? I don't know. I mean, I think it's funny too, yes. But weeping with hilarity? I don't know. I love to see him laugh that hard though.

Love, Actually
I want to answer my phone by saying "Hello, I'm very busy and important, how can I help you?" from now on.

Longoria Affair
I started to tell someone about this movie and they were all "they already made a MOVIE about Eva Longoria's divorce?" But nopes, this one is a documentary about the first Mexican American soldier to be buried in Arlington National Cemetary because people would not allow him a military burial in his hometown due to his ethnicity. Tony Parker does not appear.

Home for the Holidays
"Par par bogey bogey par par."

The Last Stand, by Nathaniel Philbrick
Almost done with this, and it turns out Custer was a total dick. 500 pages to learn that shocker. I knew the history of this battle pretty well going in, but the details in this account, especially about each person involved, were pretty dang fascinating. Old Man Book, score!

Blister in the Sun, by Violent Femmes
I heard this song this morning and thought about how, when I was a kid, I thought the counting part was just, you know, counting. I didn't realize what he was counting. Because of that, I still think of it as a sort of cute counting song, along the lines of something one would hear on Sesame Street. Note to self: don't sing this as a lullaby while babysitting.

Fruitcake
When I was a teenager, I was in choir. We did everything, from the full Mozart Coronation Mass to holiday carols in Middle English to showtunes to pop songs. One year, we did a song called Fruitcake, for our December concert. It was the stupidest, silliest crap you have ever heard, and we had full on choreography to spice it up even more. I had never heard of that song before that, nor after. The only other person I have ever met that knows that song is my friend Nan, who was also in choir in high school. This got me thinking that maybe the song only exists in the vortex that is high school choir or show choir. Then, I got on the magical interwebs and confirmed. Many kids' choirs are being subjected to Fruitcake, The Song. And many of them are attempting choreography to go along with it. Because when you sing about a nasty holiday loaf, you must dance, or at the very least pantomime about it, am I right?

This rendition is awesome. Not because it's the most polished, but just because these kids are embracing the cheese, and you all know how much I love that. Plus they have a sort of robot style that I am digging. Robots, Fruitcake, Show Choir. Three things that should always go together.

Geezer Book Love

In lieu of my usual laundry-list style consumables this week, I am going to focus on one thing. And that thing is the Joy of the Old Man Book.


If you are a person who is interested in books or the publishing industry at all, you probably know that there is something out there called Chick Lit. I'm not going to try to define what Chick Lit is, because that term is hotly debated and you can hear about that whole mess in many other places besides here. But we can all probably say- whether we agree with the term or not- that we kinda sorta know what is meant when people talk about Chick Lit. We know, or at least we think we know, that it's a way to market to a demographic. The term originally probably came from some Don Draper type. And I agree with the critics of the term that it's come to mean something derogatory and dismissive. All I have to say about that, in my uber articulate way is: not cool.

However! I do have to say that grouping books into a sort of reader profile can be pretty helpful sometimes when part of your job is to recommend books to hundreds and hundreds of stangers. If someone says that they like Jodi Picoult, and you ask them what exactly it is about Jodi Picoult that they like, what they say might lead you to recommend Anna Quindlen. Or if they say something different about Picoult, you might say Nicholas Sparks would be the direction to try. Or if something else was said, you might try Alice Hoffman with that person. And so on. But things that seem really similar can sometimes totally bomb. People that love Jackie Collins don't automatically love Danielle Steel or Judith Krantz. A lot of the time they do, but not all the time.

There is a science and an art to reader's advisory, and we librarians spend a lot of time thinking about how to do it well. We write books about it, we have meetings to talk about best practices about it. We set up databases about it. We have lots and lots of theoretical discussions about it. It is a bonafide Big Hairy Deal to us. So although there is a part of me that despises the term Chick Lit, there is also a part of my brain that sees that term as just as legitimate of a place to start to talk books with someone as anything else. It's a complicated alchemy, people's taste in books. And in my experience, readers have a hard time explaining what they love about a book (people usually are much more articulate about why they hated a book, however, which is a whole other can of beans). So if they want to use the term Chick Lit when they tell me what they like or don't like, I go with it and start from there. If there are common terms that help people have some language to tell me what they like, so much the better for me to do my job well.

Unfortunately, there aren't very many terms like that that are commonly used by people. It's up to us librarians to decipher what people mean when they say very subjective things like "I like things that are really well written," or "I want a real page turner" or "I like things with really interesting characters." That's usually a place for the librarian to start digging for other clues by talking with the person and asking a lot of questions to figure out what they mean.

I confess that I have little profiles in my head for common reader's advisory questions that I get. There's Legal Thriller Guy (or Girl), and there's Cozy Mystery Girl (or Guy), and there's Dystopian Sci-Fi Lady (or Dude), and there's Political Biography Dude (or Lady). This isn't to limit what I am going to recommend to the point where it's restrictive, but it does give me a ballpark from which to start. Sometimes that ballpark will end up with a result that makes the person happy, and sometimes the person lets me know that I have totally misread what ballpark I think they are in at all. ("Oh, you like House on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, by Jamie Ford AND Indian Killer by Sherman Alexie because they are both set in Seattle! I get it. So tell me more about...")

One of the profiles that I have discovered is what I have termed, in my own mind, the Old Man Book. Please forgive me, as I understand that this profile is sexist and ageist in much the same way as Chick Lit is, but there you have it. The Old Man Book has to do with the following topics: wars (most usually The Civil War and both World Wars), certain very specific historical figures (US Presidents, Lewis and Clark to name two), the history of baseball and maybe football (Satchel Page! Knute Rockne!), various forms of nautical-ness (The Master and Commander series, viking exploration, Christopher Columbus), and such-like.

Of all the profiles above, I see how they can be a bit helpful at times, but only as a starting point. Because when I think about how I read, I can fit into any one of those profiles, depending on the book and depending on the day. I can be Cozy Mystery Lady, or Dystopian Sci-Fi Lady, or Political Biography Lady, or Celebrity Tell-All Lady, or Esoteric Philosphy Lady, or Comic Book Geeky Lady, Or Travel Memoir Lady, or Magical Realism Lady, or Paranormal Romance Lady. People usually aren't their profile, or just one profile. And part of the fun of being a librarian is helping someone discover something outside of their norm. Or even helping them discover something in their norm. Just helping them discover something is the fun part.

But let me just confess this. It's true I can and do read in all of the profiles above, and more. But if I am going to be real here, I have to tell you. There is a big part of my reading tastes that GETS OFF on the Old Man Book. My brand of Old Man Books tends to be historical. World Wars, Civil War, Revolutionary War. Oh yeah. I love it. Love, love, love it. Demographically, I guess I "should" be more of a Chick Lit reader. But in some ways I am more Statler and Waldorf and less Carrie Bradshaw. Maybe a lot of ways.

I just checked out The Last Stand: Custer, Sitting Bull and the Battle of the Little Bighorn and I am going to crack into that 500 page sucker today. And I CAN NOT WAIT. Don't hate. Appreciate.

On a related note, I really want this t-shirt

Consumables #32

Before I get to the Consumables, let me just tell you this. Nordic Boy and I went out for breakfast yesterday at a restaurant.I ordered my breakfast, with a side of roasted potatoes. The food came, and there were no potatoes. The server said "I'm forgetting something, aren't I?" and I said, yes. The potatoes. She said oh yes, and she would go get them, and off she went. We started to eat and minutes went by. And more minutes. And more. The next time she came by, I flagged her down. I am unfailingly, painfully polite to servers, because I think they have a super hard job and I know they get a lot of shit from cranky people. Plus I don't want them to do weird shit to my food. "I'm sorry, but any word on those potatoes?" She looked surprised, said she was sorry, and said they were coming. I think you know where this is going. Soon, I flagged down a different server. I thought maybe appealing to a third party about the potatoes would help somehow. Could he broker a deal that would get me my potatoes? He was also apologetic, and I saw him go over to our server and talk with her. So anyway. The potatoes never showed up. And our server never came back to explain why. She just came back at the end of our meal to clear our plates and ask us if everything was ok. I said yes, except I never got those potatoes. She smiled serenely and said, "yes, sorry about that" and went on her way. And then she brought us our bill. And the potatoes weren't on there, but I was sort of galled at this. Shouldn't she have given us a free dessert or not charged us for our orange juice or something? Or at least seem a show of concern about the potatoes? Right?


This is the part where I hear Nordic Boy in my head saying "OH MY GOD ENOUGH ABOUT THE POTATOES."

Ok, that is all. I shall never mention the phantom potatoes again.

Consumables!
A play:
On Wednesday night, some friends of ours scored free tickets to see the play The Scarlet Letter. It was pretty good. There are a few parts of the play where Hester and Dimmesdale (oh Hester, couldn't you have picked a dude with a sexier name?) make out, hot and heavy. Although it didn't make me uncomfortable, it did occur to me that it's not very often in life where it's totally socially acceptable to stare at people while they are hardcore sucking face. In movies, sure, but not right up in person. We were in the 5th row. I could see when they were using tongue and when they weren't. A room full of us, old and young, all staring in silence. I've seen plays with nudity and much more racy content than this one had. I've been in strip clubs, burlesque shows, that sort of thing, sure. But for some reason this thought has never occurred to me. Maybe because prolonged kissing seems more intimate somehow, or something.


A tv show:
Nordic Boy and I have not been spending a ton of time at home this week, and when we are home, we're tired. As a result of this, plus the uber-coziness of the weather and the time change, we have been wanting to watch something beloved, something that makes us feel warm and snuggly. So, we re-started watching Deadwood. Hey, for some people, holing up and watching Miracle on 34th Street makes them feel fuzzy inside. For us, it's watching dirty people call each other cocksuckers in flowery borderline blank verse.

A book:
Nordic Boy is a big reader, but he does not read fiction. Ever. I really don't think I have ever seen him read anything fiction, not even once. Nordic Boy is also someone who is a fan of the Harry Potter movies. Not the books, since, obviously, he has never read them. He is dying to know what happens in the last installment. He keeps asking me, "what happens in the last book? How does it end?" For those of you who have read the last book, I think you will understand that there is no way in hell I can summarize that shit. Too many things happen. He just needs to wait for the movie to come out, or read the dang book. But he can't wait, and he won't read that book. So, I went out and got the goldarn Sparknotes for it. Yes I did. This week, before we went to bed, Nordic Boy asked me to read him the first chapter aloud. "We can do a chapter a night," he said.

I started to read, and although I am paraphrasing, it really did go something like this:

"Snape and Voldemort meet. Snape tells Voldemort where Harry is hiding and what day he is going to be moved to another location. Deatheater Yaxley disagrees and says it's a different date. Voldemort believes Snape, showing his confidence in him. Voldemort then kills a Hogwarts professor who has been captured."

Me: (closing the book)
Nordic Boy: That's Chapter One?
Me: Yep.
Nordic Boy: Maybe we'll read a few chapters every night.
Me: (opening the book) Good idea.

A song:
I had yesterday off for Veteran's Day. This made Wednesday feel like Friday, and yesterday felt like Saturday in the morning, but Sunday at night. Today I woke up totally thinking it was Monday. On my favorite radio station, KEXP, the morning DJ tends to play "You Push, I'll Go," by Baby Dayliner on Friday mornings. It was only on my drive in to work, when that song came on, that I realized it was Friday and that the weekend is almost here. That song has a Pavlovian response for me. I hear it and I get happy. Friday! Sweet!

Consumables and other stuff

Pretty much every weekend, I have some sort of jaunt. A dinner with a friend, a show, a movie, a hike, something. This weekend, I did nothing. Just, nothing. I had the day off on Friday so I walked over to The Soggy Librarian's house where we sat on her couch and played with the uber-adorable Soren for an hour or so. Then, we decided to go for a walk, so we walked...5 blocks back to my house, where we sat on MY couch and played with the uber-adorable Soren. Then Biogirl and I went out for an early bird burrito and were home by 7:30. Aaaand...that was Friday.


I worked on Saturday, and it was a superbusy day. I got home and collapsed on the couch (it's always a sign of over-tiredness when I bust out the TV tray for dinner) and watched old Harry Potter movies with Biogirl and Nordic Boy. Nordic Boy had been working on house projects all day that day and he fell into a dead sleep by 9:30. I made it to midnight, but was so sleepy by that time that I sort of felt barfy. Saturday night at our house- woooooo!

It was a fricking ridiculous downpour all weekend- big, fat raindrops everywhere. We dragged ourselves out of the house on Sunday afternoon to get take out and the 10 yard walk to the car had us looking like drenched cats.

Sometimes my life is so glamorous that I just feel braggy, but don't hate me because I am fabulous, people.

Forgot to do Consumables last week, so here's the deal lately:

Harry Potter movies:
I had a friend, Hang, whose first language is not English. She only learned it as an adult, when she moved to this country. Sometimes she would make some gaffes (did I just say "gaffes"? I thought that we could only use that word when talking about Joe Biden), and she always had such a good sense of humor about it when she realized what she had actually said as opposed to what she wanted to say. For instance, one time she wanted to say "I broke into a sweat!" but instead she said "I broke into a sweater!" I think my all-time favorite quote from Hang was when the first Harry Potter movie came out, she was so excited that she messed up the name of it. "Oh my god! I am so excited to see Harry Potter and the Social Security Stone!"

As we watched the Social Security Stone and its sequels this time, I somehow decided to call out when certain characters looked like other famous people. So like when Argus Filch came on, I would yell out "IT'S WILLIE NELSON!" or when Moaning Myrtle would come on, I would say "IT'S TINA FEY!" I should make this into some sort of drinking game or something, but I am not that clever.

One Day, by David Nicholls
A sort of When Harry Met Sally novel about two friends who meet in college and how their relationship grows and changes over the years. The book is structured where each chapter is about the same day, July 15, of each successive year. At first I thought that the book would be a sort of British will-they-won't-they get together sort of thing, and it is, but it turns out to be more that that too. The male character, Dex, starts out a bit dickish, and unpredictably sort of stays dickish throughout the book, which hardly ever happens. You're supposed to learn to love the dickish man, aren't you, and see that he really isn't so bad underneath it all. That's the archetype: from Dr. House to Brian Kinney to Lou Grant to every recent Jack Nicholson movie, that's what we are trained to expect. So in a weird way, I was happy that it was not written that way. Stay a dick! It seems more realistic! That's what I say.

Dancing With the Stars
I have never been able to get into this show, but this year I am giving it a try. Here's the thing. I appreciate the construct whereby people who are clearly not trained dancers try to learn and you see them do things that surprise you. I embrace that. The thing I can't embrace is the dances where they don't actually dance at all, and they just mug for the cameras. Which usually happens in Week One and Two, and it makes me want to gouge out my own eyes so I quit watching. This year, The Hoff was the one that almost made me turn it off. I know- it seems unlike me to dislike cheese of that caliber, but when it comes to dance I can be sort of a snoot, I can admit that. That sort of thing just disrespects dance. (Oh shut up, me). But I persevered, and am still with it. The second thing is that contest shows? TOO MUCH FILLER. That's why I can't watch American Idol. They can shave that thing down to a 15 minute show, and yet it's like 2 hours every week. Can't deal with that. So for DWTS, I tivo it and then rely heavily on my fast forward button. I watch the rehearsal process and the dancing, and maybe some judging. I am spending 15 minutes on that show every week, tops.

Wallandar, starring Kenneth Branagh
They have been showing these on PBS lately, and I find them soothing, in that cerebral PBS way.

Have a good Monday, everyone!

Consumables #29

I haven't done Consumables in a while. Let's catch up.


Books!

The Last Time I Saw You, by Elizabeth Berg
Super light read about a bunch of folks heading to their 40th high school reunion. It was cozy and cute, and everything turns out just as you want it to in the end, no fuss no muss. It was like a really well done Hallmark Original Movie. On the one hand, I loved how all of the characters weren't written as Mid-life Crisis People. Even though it was set at a reunion, the book isn't about nostalgia. On the other hand, there are several references to the fact that certain characters felt a lot of urgency about going to the reunion, since it'll be the last one. "I have to go! It's my last chance to go to a reunion, because it's the LAST ONE!" they kept saying. What was that all about? A little morbid if you ask me. Do people just literally stop having reunions after the 40th? Is that really a thing? I guess I didn't know that.

Room, by Emma Donoghue
This book, which is about such a disturbing topic (a woman who is being held captive by her rapist for years has a baby and brings up her son in this little room- he has never known the outside world at all and is the narrator of the story), made me feel guilty because I found myself singing "In Your Room" by the Bangles every time I picked it up. NOT COOL, LIBRARIAN. But I couldn't help it, for some reason. I found the first part of the book a little tedious, but once it picked up I really liked it. And the fact that I read this novel during the same time that Oprah couldn't shut up about hostage situations was just a coincidence. Weird.

The Various, by Steve Augarde
Upper elementary school age novel about a girl who goes to live with her uncle and cousins for the summer in the English countryside and discovers a forest nearby inhabited by a fairy civilization. The girl was gutsy and adventurous and the fairy civilization was interesting and not cutesy. I liked it enough to finish it quickly, but not quite enough to read the rest of the series. I think it's a great one to have in your pocket for kid reader's advisory.

TeeVee!

Oprah
This happened a while ago, but I heard that Jon Stewart was going to be on the Oprah show sometime but was too lazy to look up when. Instead I just tivo'ed every episode for the last couple of weeks. Aside from Jon, I got a lot of episodes about people who survived being held somewhere against their will. Ingrid Betancourt, the Discovery channel hostages, American hikers jailed in Iran and a lady that was assaulted via Craigslist. I think that's a weird theme. Anyway, I did get my Jon Stewart episode and he made a John Cusack "Say Anything" reference. My friend Alli is in love with John Cusack. Hot, dirty love that has lasted for pretty much since puberty, uninterrupted. He has maintained #1 status on her List for years and years. I am a fan of Jon Stewart. My love for Jon Stewart is not quite as hot and dirty as her love for John Cusack, but we have been known to call these two our Johns (which, yes, is sort of whorey but whatever). Her John is Cusack, and mine is Stewart. This is why it was cute when she saw this episode of Oprah and texted me IMMEDIATELY when Stewart referenced Cusack. "Your Jon mentioned mine!" It was like we were on a double date. Except it wasn't anything like that.

Gossip Girl
How can Chuck Bass talk like that so consistently? And when will Serena stop calling him "Chalk"?

Movies!

Rattle and Hum
I ran across this on tv, and it brought me right back to the days when U2 seemed so fresh. The babyfaces on them!

Vertigo
I told you already about how we got to see this on the big screen. I wanted to go back and see North By Northwest last week, but alas, time was not on my side.

Music!

Summer is totally over, and fall is starting to wane a bit too. Let's say goodbye to warm weather with a warm weather song, shall we?



Have a good weekend everyone!

Consumables #28

Secret Lives of Pippa Lee

One of the reasons I don't usually lust after celebrities is that most of them seem like idiots in real life, and I can't get past that, even if they are really, really good actors or singers or what have you. I am not attracted to idiots. This might seem to go without saying but it seems to me that many people don't give a rat's ass about whether or not someone's an idiot as a prereq for getting in their pantaloons. Which, really, why would it be? One's pantaloons are not tied directly to idiocy levels. But still, for me, they are totally related. However, Keanu Reeves in this movie is cyoot. He doesn't say much, which helps, and I still think he's probably dumb as a box of rocks, but he's pretty. And I have a soft spot for Robin Wright for reasons too stupid to mention.

Believe: The Eddie Izzard Story
I love this dude.

Roman Holiday
I watched this again because a good friend o' mine has up and left for Italy and so what better movie to watch and imagine them running around the streets of Rome? I love how Audrey Hepburn is just so fricking consistent. She is the same goddamn person in everything, all the time, which some have noted is kind of an acting flaw, but hell. I appreciate knowing what I am getting. And Gregory Peck, and vespas, and Eddie Albert, the Green Acres guy? Delish.

I'd Know You Anywhere, by Laura Lippman
This genre is not my usual cup of tea, but I liked it overall. I was thankful for no gory stuff, but at the same time she didn't sugarcoat anything either. Good balance. The one thing I couldn't get over was the fact that the main character and her husband didn't seem quite appalled, repulsed, angry enough that a psycho who had victimized her was trying to get back in touch with her. They just sort of seemed like, ok, well that's awkward, and kind of gross, but ok, you know, whatevs.

Things in worky land are stressful for me and my library homies currently. This song seems appropriate for my mindset right now, in terms of timing, and summer ending, and what's ahead.




Have a loverly weekend, alla yous!

I did it all for the nookie

Monday night Nordic Boy came home with a present for me.

For a long time, I wasn't the slightest bit interested in trying an e-reader, mostly because in the beginning of e-reader-ness the only option was to buy books, never borrow. Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-book-buying, but being a librarian and all, I also am a huge fan of the borrowing. I am not precious about owning books as objects for myself for the most part, and plus I am a full on cheapskate, so put that all together with the fact that I work for a huge library system where I can read to my heart's content without committing the dolla dolla bills, ya'll, and you have a pertty solid no thanks, Mr. Bezos.

When e-readers started coming out that offered the option of buying or borrowing, it made me more interested, but still. I didn't know if it was for me.

Um, you guys? IT IS SO FOR ME.

I like many things about it, but what I like the most is that I can carry eleventy grillion books around with me in my purse without herniating my groin. I read multiple books at a time, and deciding which one gets the honor of going in my purse with me is a thing of the past. I also enjoy the fact that the screen is not a light-up screen like a computer. It treats my eyes just like print, so I don't get that fatigued computer face after a long bout of reading. And also, I can read a big heavy tome (I do TOO read tomes) in my bed and not get arm cramps from holding the dang book up.

I am realizing most of my reasons for loving this involve sheer physical laziness on my part.

I have heard people say that some people love books. The physical object. They love the binding, the papery smell, the eventual wearing down of pages. And that other people just love reading. On the computer, in a book, on a stone tablet, it doesn't matter. And then there are people along the spectrum in between. I never knew where I fell in this continuum exactly, and I still don't. What I do know is that I am not feeling monogamy for the codex.

I have a saucy lover on the side, and its name is Nook. And I am totally hot to trot for it right now.

Consumables #20

I swear to you I will get back to posting more than just Consumables starting next week. Because really, there is stuff happening in my life other than this. Sheesh.

In the meantime! This week:

Clash of the Titans (1981 version starring Sir Laurence Olivier opposite Harry Freaking Hamlin)
OUCH.

Flint #1: Choosing Sides
I saw this at the library, and how could I not read it? It's set in my own drrty ghetto fabulous hometown that I love so much. Prostitution! Basketball! Drug deals! Gang wars! Ah, I feel 16 again. Ha ha.What killed the whole thing was that the back of the book blurb tells you the whole dang story. Boo! I confess the thing I loved most about it was the design on the book cover that just had the signs for Interstate 75 and 475 on either side of the title. Holla!

This Is Just Exactly Like You, by Drew Perry
This was totally ruined for me because someone told me it was funny. Ready to laugh, I dove in. Um, whoever told me that, you are fired. If only I could remember who you are.

And lastly, I rocked out to this song while making breakfast this morning, because the sun shining in my windows just amped me the eff UP. Nordic Boy added in the background "Whoop" whenever needed. Yay summer!

Consumables #18

Thank you so much for all the sweetness and light that you commented and emailed me yesterday and today. Each and every one of those things made me smile, laugh, or chortle. I love a good chortle.


And now, just so that I have to do some of the work too, I shall list out some more awesomeness in my life at the present time. And also combine it with my weekly consumables.

1. I went to visit my friends in the hospital the other day. They just had a baby and the baby is premature so they have been staying in the hospital for the past almost-three weeks, trying to get the little guy strong enough to come home. They are doing well, and they may get to all three go home in the next few days. They are handling the whole thing remarkably well and I am in awe of them. That kid has got some great parents right out of the gate.

2. I watched Elegy the other night. Now why would I watch a depressing movie about fucked up lonely people when I was feeling glum? I don't know what it is about me, but I love stories about fucked up lonely people. I am neither lonely nor fucked up (well, relatively un-fucked up. Maybe. I don't know), but yet I feel kinship with those people.

3. I also watched This Movie Is Not Yet Rated. Jack Valenti reminds me of Lorne Greene. And Lorne Greene, rather than reminding me of the original Battlestar Galactica, or Bonanza, makes me think of Alpo. Which is sort of a sad thing, really. That's the insightful thing I have to say about that movie.

4. I always forget to mention books in my Consumables posts. What kind of librarian am I, anyway? First I don't wear sweater sets and now this. Sheesh. This week I read a book called The Rebellion of Jane Clarke. It's historical fiction, set in the era leading up to the Revolutionary War, and it was quite good I thought. The mention of Sam Adams just makes me think of beer though. First Lorne Greene and now Sam Adams. Damn you, Don Drapers of the world.

5. Last night, there was a very pretty moon out. It was low in the sky, and silvery, and there were wisps of clouds that kept passing in front of it like gray ribbons. Nordic Boy and I opened up our living room window and sat on the couch and looked at it for a while. Our conversation went like this.

Me: There's this book called Life as We Knew It, and it's about this girl who is living a normal life with her family when a meteor hits the moon and knocks it off its axis, which causes the Earth to go kind of haywire because gravity gets thrown off, and most of the population dies off.
Him: You sure know how to make a moment really romantic, you know.
Me: There are earthquakes, tsunamis, the whole thing. And she has to learn how to survive in this new reality that's created by this event. It was a really good book.
Him: Sounds interesting.
Me: It's not real though. It's fiction.
Him: Um. Yeah. Thanks.

"It's not real though. It's fiction." Really, me?

And to think I am paid to talk to people about books.

Consumables #15

Quick and dirty consumables!

A Man Named Pearl

Delightful documentary about a guy in South Carolina who makes his whole yard a topiary kingdom. Sounds weird, but it isn't. It's touching.

Kings of the Earth, by Jon Clinch

When I got an advance copy of this, I had to read it. Remember that documentary I talked about a while back called My Brother's Keeper?  This is loosely based on that. Although the book goes in another direction from the doc, I sort of love both equally.

It's Complicated

I actually really liked this. Sue me.

Lost

I already told you I was late to the game in watching the last Lost. But now that I have done it, I am kind of sad that it's over, although there were things that annoyed the holy hell out of me. I got used to the annoyance. It was like a long term annoying friend. Bye, Lost.  Nordic Boy always contended that your full title should be "Lost: Where There Is Always Someone In the Fucking Bushes," and that is always how I shall remember you.

Happy Friday everyone!

Consumables #14

This week in pop culture me-ness!

The Passage, by Justin Cronin
I picked up an advance copy of this based on the marketing buzz that says that this is going to be the next! big! thing! in thriller/sci-fi books. It has movie written all over it. It has to do with the government injecting death row inmates with a virus that turns them into vampire-monsters. Ridley Scott already has the movie rights. And there will be sequels. So there you go, the next movie franchise. I'm thinking Dame Judi Dench as head vampire-monster, you know, to class it up a little.

Beiber Fever
Does anyone remember Margaret Cho's routine where she talks about how she rented a porno (stay with me here) and then forgot to return it before she went on a long vacation so that when she came back she had two weeks' worth of daily messages from an embarrassed video store clerk asking her to please return "Beaver Fever"? Well, I remember it. And anytime anyone says "Beiber Fever" I sort of think that's what they are saying.

ANTM, the Kimonos and Jumpsuits Cycle
I watched another whole season of Tyra. I don't think I would have made it through the whole thing this year but for the jumpsuits. I was tuning in to see the jumpsuit madness, and that's about it. "Oh Mylanta!"

Barnaby Jones
This used to be my dad's favorite show when I was a kid. I had almost forgotten that. Then I went to one of my favorite places-my local indie video store that magically owns everything-(seriously, I go there almost as much as I go to the grocery store), and they had Barnaby Jones dvds on display. And this made me remember it, and think about how excited my dad would be (maybe?) to see that they were on dvd, and before I knew it, I had screamed out, really loudly and with palpable excitement "OH MY GOD THEY HAVE BARNABY JONES HERE!" and maybe the whole store might have looked at me and appreciated my crazy. Just maybe.

"What a very special time for me..."
Nordic Boy and I were driving somewhere that was kind of far away (well, it was like 20 minutes away) and the car was quiet. "Sing me a song or something, it's too quiet," he says. And I did. The first one that came into my mind. And I sang it with gusto. From the very beginning to the very end. I didn't even know I knew all the words, but SHIT, I did. And I belted it. All a cappella and everything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYaJ-q348xo

That'll teach him to want a serenade.