You're in My Space

Recently Josh posted on his blog that a fun thing to do on MySpace is search out random people from high school and see what they're up to. It's a way to catch up without actually having to talk to anyone. Unlike full-contact reunioning, it seems like a great idea. At least that's what I used to think. The problem is that sometimes, even though you don't want to talk to them, they may want to talk to you. This can be an issue. Here's my cautionary tale about just such an incident.

I started MySpacing last summer, and mostly kept my contacts amongst people that I knew. I hadn't thought of the voyeuristic-high-school approach, but I'm sure I would have eventually. I was just a MySpace neophyte, so I didn't know no bettah. One day, I get contacted by some chickie that says "Hey, didn't you used to go to X College? Because I did! And hey, I'm a librarian too!" or something less weird-sounding but containing that sort of message. Now, College X was the first college I went to, and I only stayed there for a year-and-a-half, and it was far from the best experience in my life, so revisiting it is not at the top of my list, if I had a list, which I don't, at least not that sort of list. But I don't want to slam this chickie with all my, like, baggage. So I write back and say, "Why yes I did attend X College, but I'm sorry, I don't remember you." This was maybe my first mistake, in that perhaps people don't like being told that you don't remember them. It's one of those faux pas that I don't really know how you're supposed to get out of. I can't really lie and say I remember her when I don't, can I? Is that what people do? Anyhoo. So she wrote back and said that her name was Kieferella (not really, but I can't remember what her name was) and that she was an english major and listed a bunch of people that she used to hang out with, some of whom I DID remember. "Oh yes", I wrote back, "I know those people. I never hung out with them, but I dated someone who did." Great, small world. After sending that email, I wondered what more we could possibly have to say to each other. Vague connection through ex-kiss-partner and that's about it. Well, let me tell you, she had lots more to say to me! She wrote back a really long message and said that not only does she remember my ex-kiss-partner, but she also remembered all kinds of other stuff about my 18 year-old-self as well. She then proceeded to list back to me lots of sordidity that happened way back in the day between me, ex-kiss-partner and the kissing he was doing with other girlies while he was supposed to be kissing me. And also lots of other thoughts, impressions, and ideas she had about me as a person and what I seemed like and all the whys and wherefores of what I was up to back then. And I mean DETAILS, people. This chickie was apparently the kissing police, and the social archivist, and the pinpointer-of-personality, because she remembered my business better than I remember it. It was cah-reepy. All up in my koolaid, for real. And not just my koolaid, but my old, cobwebby, moldy koolaid. I mean I know it's called MySpace, but she was SO in my space I could smell her stank breath. How does one respond to such a tirade of assy? What did she expect my response to that to be? I don't know what she was expecting, but I'll tell you what I did. I wrote her a message back with one word typed in. All it said was "Yipe." And then I took that MySpace page down. I couldn't deal. So beware of the random re-connectors out there, people. And when you get yourself in an awkward social situation, remember two things. Don't tell people you don't remember them, and when in doubt, say "Yipe" and get the hell out.

Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl