Don't Dream It's Over

Every night in Libraryland, we have a little problem. Nobody wants to leave. Well, nobody except those of us that work in Libraryland. But for the non-paid-to-be-there crowd, I honestly think they want to be locked in, like Luke and Laura in that department store, so they can frolic amongst the books in an overnight readathon slumber party. And it's not the homeless people that settle in for a comfy overnighter at the library, usually. It's everyone else. I realize this is a pretty nice problem to have, and yet another indication that people like our library and want to hang out here. So I'm not complaining too hard. But I can't help but wonder if there is a better way to do this. So here's what we do now, our own handcraftedCountdown to Lockdown: we make closing announcements over the PA system. This may not sound like much, but let me elaborate on the closing announcement protocol. We start making announcements a full 30 minutes before we close, gently easing people into the idea that the library is closing like a trusted bottle of Correctol. You've got 30 minutes, people, so you might want to think about coming up to check out if you need to. This is followed by a 20 minute announcement, a 10 minute, and a 5 minute. That's four times that they've been warned that we are shutting down the joint. They don't even give you that during last call in a bar. (They also have bouncers in a bar that will boot your ass out, so I guess that's the
difference there, I don't know). Then we always have to walk around the entire library, issuing personalized verbal invitations for people to go the hell home. If it goes too far past closing time and people still aren't budging, we do the old flick-the-lights on-and-off thing. This somehow usually does the trick, when all the verbal badgering hasn't made a dent. Then people mosey out of Libraryland like pot-smoking sloths, and we get to go home. I've been thinking about ways to make this transition from Libraryland to the real world easier, and thinking about the ways in which other places convey that the working day is done. Here's the best idea that I've come up with: a closing song. What if we piped in a closing song through the PA system? We wouldn't even have to come up with our own song: there are plenty of good ones out there already. Mr. Rogers always had that "I'll be back when the day is new, and I'll have more ideas for you..." song. That's totally appropriate. Or that song that Carol Burnett always sang: "I'm so glad we had this time...togethaaaaa." So nice.

Or maybe I am thinking of this the wrong way. Perhaps patrons aren't socialized to take direct verbal cues like this, as our interactions are so much more often subtle and unspoken. Perhaps if we all started using the Closing Announcement model in our private lives, people would get used to hearing it. So next time you are hanging out with your friends, or on a date or something, start making closing announcements a half hour early. "May I have your attention please. This social interaction will be coming to a close in 20 minutes. If you have items that you wish to bring up, do so now." Then do it again at 10 minutes, and then again at 5. Do this with your partner: "Cuddling will be over in 10 minutes, at which time we will commence with sleeping." Do this even when you're alone: "I will be sick of watching The Surreal Life in five minutes, at which time I will change the channel." Get the idea?

Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl