This weekend, Phase One of Operation De-Fug the Yard began, and unfortunately I am learning that before it gets better, it is going to get worse.
First thing that needed to happen was getting rid of the stumps that abound in the front yard. So pretty, so classy, my front yard is probably 40% stumps. And 50% weeds. And 10% broken up concrete pavers that will trip you like elderly Underbutler Stevens in Remains of the Day. Don't you try to walk around in your tuxedo carrying a silver tray of tea in MY yard! (Outdated, boring reference, wut-wut!)
In case you were wondering, paying someone to come to your house with a machine that will grind up your stump (dirty!) will cost you approximately 3 million dollars. Rather than participating in that high class hookery, we rented a stump grinder, which didn't cost us much, except for being a humongous pain the rump roast.
First of all, we had to somehow get this super heavy machine up the front stairs of our house onto the yard. Nordic Boy made this high tech ramp made of two-by-fours and chicken wire.
Once it was up on the yard, you have to turn the machine on and sort of move it back and forth over the stumps (omg, filthy!). Our dear Delium came over to lend a hand, and it took all damn day.
Good news: the stumps are history.
Ok news: much of our front yard is now covered in mulch, which is better than what it was covered in before. Although it still is pretty dang ugly. Sorry, neighbors.
Bad news: hi neighborhood cats! A GIANT YARD OF NATURAL KITTY LITTER. It's a vast cat Disneyland of poop real estate.
Phase One complete.