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Nooh Yawk

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In the cab

Me: Well! That was great! Honestly. I was really thoroughly impressed with Harry Potter in that.

Nordic Boy: Apparently not impressed enough to stop calling him Harry Potter.

Me: Whoops.

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Expecto Patronum

Sitting in the ultra nosebleed seats, waiting for "How to Succeed in Business" to start. There sure are a lot of teens here, and they seem awfully excited to see John Laroquette. I hope they won't be too disappointed when they realize they have to sit through lots and lots of Daniel Radcliffe. Someone should have warned them about that.

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Park Centrally

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Squared

Sunset at Washington Square. Perfect weather, perfect evening.

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Getting High

In love with a sunny day at the Highline Park in Chelsea.

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Lordy

Best pierogis evahhhhh. B&H in the East Village.

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Getting the Bird

Let's go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art! Let me just consult my walking map here. Where is that museum again?

Thanks, helpful NY bird. Poop marks the spot.

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My new demographic?

Just went to the most old-ladiest thing ever.

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Getting Appley

Got to New York just in time for a warm dusk walk with my dude. No coat! No tights! On either of us! Suck it, Seattle.

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Hosed

Well, you did me proud, my friends. I now have a list as long as my arm of places to get good grub in New York. Granted, I sort of forgot that one can't spit without hitting a restaurant in New York, so I realize the question was kind of overkill, but still. I appreciate it, and although I won't be able to hit them all (I only have one stomach and so much time after all), I shall be prepared, much like a culinary boy scout.


Here's what's going on with me.

1. I went to another roller derby match. What was notable about this was that after the match (game? match? round?), it was raining, and my friends wanted to go out, and I didn't go, because it was cold and raining. I have become that person who just wants to go home when it rains, which is the kiss of death if you live in Seattle. I want it on the record (you keep a record, don't you?) that I went home, but didn't say it was because of the rain. My streak of not being whiny about weather stands and I want full credit for that.

2. I went to the Nordstrom hosiery department (ha ha, hosiery) and there was a long line at the register. Apparently Sunday was Buy Some Legtubes Day. In front of me was a girl about 14 years old. She was buying Spanx. The Nordstrom worker was a lady, probably about 70, with big hair and Liberace rings on her fingers. This is the conversation I heard.

Liberace: Oh, HONEY. Is this your very first pair of Spanx?

Girl: (quietly) Yes.

Liberace: Let me tell you, you will LOVE THEM. I love mine. They feel like someone is just HOLDING YOU TIGHT. You know what I mean? Ha ha.

Girl: (slowly evaporating into thin air)

Liberace: I think they work best if you just don't WEAR UNDERWEAR. That's the best. They feel better on your bottom. Nothing gets BUNCHED UP, you know?

Girl: (bursting into flame)

Liberace: If you DO have to wear underwear though, make sure it's the silky kind. You may be too young- are you wearing silky ones yet? Or still cottony?

Girl: (shriveling up like a prune)

Liberace: You don't have to tell me. Just don't wear underwear. No one will know, honey! I'm not wearing any right now, and you can't tell, right?

It went on forever. It was like Rowan Atkinson in Love, Actually merged with the grandma in Sixteen Candles.

3. I realized that the last three times I got my haircut, my stylist did not listen to me, and I walked out of there with boring hair each and every time. Thricely. I think three times is enough chances, don't you? This weekend, I went to a new person, in a fancier salon, and I sat in the chair and for the first 5 minutes, I straight up bossed her. I may or may not have acted like a crazy person. However, I got a good haircut. I think I may have gotten it from instilling fear, but I got it. I am hoping my bossy voice was at least nice-ish, like a certain someone I know.

A girl has to eat

Your assignment: tell me where I should eat in New York. Click on comments and type it up! Or email me!

DO IT.

Consumables #39

Here's what my brain et lately.

Books!


Lost and Found, by Shaun Tan
I adore Shaun Tan. The end.

Emily, Alone by Stewart O'Nan
Character study to the max. Emily is a widow who spends her days thinking about her life and her death, hanging with her beloved dog, meeting up with her pal Arlene for buffet, and keeping contact with her kids and grandkids. I like how kind O'Nan is to his characters, and how Emily is a person who spends most of her time alone, but isn't lonely.

The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex, by Kristen Schaal and Rich Blomquist
I didn't quite know what this book was going to be, and I still don't.

Movies!

Eyes of Tammy Faye
Documentary about Tammy Faye. I thought it was sad, on a lot of levels. Yes, it was campy too, but mostly sad.

Agora
Sound editing drove me crackers on this. Either the characters were whispering (volume up, turn it up!) or mobs were screaming (ahhh! turn it down! down!). Every five seconds. I had to stop watching because I was having thumb-on-remote fatigue.

Fast Runner
I love this movie. Love, love, love.
TV!

Dancing with the Stars
I'm going to tell you a little secret. I keep my eyes glued to the professionals for this show, not the stars. It's sort of like watching with half a brain, or with one eye shut. I just block out Ralph Macchio or Kirstie Alley and focus on the dancers. And I also lean heavily on the fast forward button. Really I think I probably watch about 10 full minutes of an hour long show.

Music!

Pat Benatar's Love is a Battlefield came on when we were making dinner the other night. After a few moments of silence, this was said.
 
Nordic Boy: I really love this song.
Me: Me too!
Nordic Boy: Like, not ironically. I just really love it, for real.
Me: (with relief) ME TOO.
Nordic Boy: (nodding thoughtfully) I'm glad we've had this moment.
Me: Me too.
 

Like a Record Baby

Sheet, it's already Wednesday. Keep meaning to post, but the world keeps spinning and me along with it.


On the up side, I think spring is finally coming out from behind the clouds. A little. Maybe. Sometimes.

Other awesome stuff in my world lately:

1. Biogirl threw a birthday party for herself wherein we played Celebrity. During the charades round, she busted out a Michael Jackson imitation that included a "whoo!" that could not be contained escaping from her lips. And really, who can blame her? What is MJ without his whoo?

2. Nordic Boy did a coy rendition of Marilyn Monroe during the charades round as well. Holding his imaginary skirt down, batting his eyes, making a Marilyn mouth, the whole bit. It held about 5% of the silliness that he can muster up, but still, it blew the partygoers away. I love seeing how people who don't know him well react to how much of a clown he really is- I enjoy their reaction so much more than his actual clownishness. When you first get to know him you would so never guess it, with that serious face of his, so people get such a kick out of it when he is funny all of a sudden. It seems out of nowhere. I want to say dudes, you have no idea.

3. A story was told about how, in a fit of road rage, our friend Rob yelled out the nonsensical but hilarious phrase "Jesus Tits!" at someone in another car. Need I say that this is a new favorite for us?

4. Spent an evening with some library coworker friends and no one talked about work, not ONCE. It was a sweet, sweet miracle.

5. Got a Sunday morning serenade from Nordic Boy. It was a full voice (loud ass) rendition of "You Spin Me Right Round." With dancing. It was quite a sight.
6. Spent a sunny Saturday literally tiptoeing through the tulips in Skagit Valley. It spun me right round baby right round.