So, I'm not really a New Year's Resolution kind of girl. But since the blogosphere is running amok with New Year's lists, I will join in the fray and tell you all what pop culture has taught me in 2006.
In 2007, I pledge to do the following:
1. I pledge to wear underwear at all times. Because when Britney forgot to do this, the sky fell in and people started having fits, ya'll. On the other hand, you know that scene in "Home for the Holidays" where Aunt Gladdy gets out of the car and flashes her granny-panties at Robert Downey Jr? That's way worse. And who knew that getting out of a car is the sure-fire way to flash some cooch? Do we all need lessons on car-exits? Anyway, a happy medium with the skivvies. That's a promise.
2. I pledge to live simply, with less clutter. If Tori Spelling can sell off her used lipstick at her garage sale and Whitney can sell off her bustiers, then I can certainly cut down on my visits to Zappos.
3. I pledge to keep sexy from going away again. Thank you JT, for bringing it back. I was looking for it for, like, ever.
4. I pledge to come up with a good hybrid name for me and Nordic Boy, along the lines of Brangelina and Vinnifer. Libnordian? Nordbrarian? I'll work on that.
5. I pledge, that if I am ever in the studio audience of a talk show (Oprah, Ellen, The View, etc.) in 2007, I will NOT GO apeshit if they give the whole audience a new ipod. Or a new cell phone. Or a new robot vacuum cleaner. Ok, maybe for the robot vacuum cleaner. I will have my standards for screaming and jumping up and down, is all I'm saying.
6. I pledge to not marry Kid Rock in multiple-location weddings.
7. I pledge that I will not throw computers around like Denise Richards, as they may hit someone. (This one is not as far-fetched as it sounds. There are days in Libraryland where I have been THIS CLOSE to hurling a computer across the room).
8. I pledge to have a 6 limon-cello limit.
9. I pledge to not let George Michael chauffer me anywhere.
10. I pledge to try and yell out "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" every chance I get. Because, really, that is a catch-all sentence.
Happy New Year, pals. Let's rock out 2007.
Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl
Thursday, January 04, 2007
These Things I Swear
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Librarianwonder.blogspot.com by Pop Culture Librarian is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.
9 comments:
I pledge to not ask Donald Trump for a second chance when he could fire me and ruin my life forever.
I pledge to be Paris Hilton's best friend forever. Her friends seem to dump her and I will be there for her when she needs me most.
Okay, your pledges are soooo much better than mine.
I'll have to try the snakes line at the library sometime. That's bound to get people's attention.
Girl, you crack me up!
--Ang, amsalltowngirl.com
Okay, take half of these pledges and add them to mine; they are fantastic, particularly the underwear thing. During Christmas, my mom and I were talking about something and she said "Well, at least you wear underwear in public." I love that Britney's panty-less transgressions have hit all the way back in Neenah, WI
Good pledges! Happy New Year, librarian! Thanks for the chuckle this morning!
Ok - item number 3? Hee.
While I love your New Years resolutions...did Joel McHale help you write this? I think so!
I'm afraid if I was in Oprah's audience, I'd lose it if we got a free pen.
I disagree with the 6 limoncello limit. That was the best episode of the View ever!! It proves that limoncellos make good things possible :)
Post a Comment