Thursday, June 22, 2006

Cheeseless in Seattle

You always hear those stories about couples who have been together for a really long time, who have started to take each other for granted. You know what I mean. The husband and wife who don't attend to the daily, tiny kindnesses and who barely seem to notice that the other person is even there any more. Then, as the marriage falls apart, they both realize (if this is a Lifetime Original movie starring Lisa Hartman Black and Patrick Duffy) how much the other person really DID for them, and how unappreciative they have been all along, and if only they could have a second chance, they would never take that person for granted again. They would love them, cherish them, forever and ever, amen.

Well, I'm finally understanding what those feelings are all about, people. No, nothing is falling stale between me and Nordic Boy. Not to worry. The relationship that I am lamenting right now is the one I have with...a refrigerator.

I am currently without fridge. My new house did not come with a fridge, so I have to buy one. And in the days that lined up between moving in and today, I have resigned myself to living without a fridge for a week or two, because hey, I just bought a house and have lots of things to spend money on and I have to prioritize these things, and so how hard could that be, to live fridge-free?

It's hard. It's hella hard. How did I grow up not appreciating this fine invention? Why, when watching Little House on the Prairie and seeing Nels lugging huge chunks of ice out of the ice house, did I not say to myself "thank Petey Wheat that I don't have to do that?" Why, each time I had a nice, cold Izzy soda to quench my thirst, did I not give my fridge a little caress?

I don't know why. I just didn't. Took it for granted. Grumbled at it late at night when I was hankering for something and standing there with its door open, looking at my vast array of condiments (easily 40 or 50 different condiments in my fridge, I'm sure). Kicking its door shut as I made my milky Earl Grey tea in the morning. Kicking it! For shame.

So now I understand the error of my ways. I was blind but now I see. I want to be able to store cheese. And milk. And have cold beverages. And, oh sweet Theo Huxtable, some ice cream. Store them all, cold, chilled, in my very own abode. Right there. Close by.

I remember the only other time in my life that I was ever awed at the majesty that is refrigeration. When I was growing up, my friend Ali's house had the most mammoth fridge I had ever seen in a house. Ever. Still to this day that behemoth was impressive. Every time one of its gigantic doors swung open before me, I was agape. It was like a walk-in closet of a fridge.

I don't need a fridge like that, obviously. But I do need a fridge. A glorious, beautiful fridge. I have the one that I want picked out, and it is sexy. I can't wait to have it be a part of the family. I will treat it kindly, with reverence, and every spoonful of Ben and Jerry's that I consume out if its loving guts, I will say mea culpa, dear fridge. I am sorry that I didn't see the beauty radiating from within your little lighted interior.

And hopefully, my future ice box will hold no grudges against me. Cool forgiveness will be mine. It will all be water under the fridge, as Balki Bartakamous used to say.

Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl


Anonymous said...

A week without cheese sounds like a week in hell. Good luck this weekend... what will you do about popsicles? and potato salad? and beer! It's SUMMER for the love of crap, you need these things! I shall say a little prayer.

Melinda said...

I once almost moved into an apartment I couldn't afford based solely on its refrigerater. It was stainless steel, as big as a house, and had one of those little ice-makers in one of the doors. Sigh.

If only it were winter, and you could store your salt pork in a heap of snow in the barn, like Pa.

Anonymous said...

I think your feelings towards the fridge are similar to mine towards my hot water heater. Not having food at home I can handle. Cold showers? Uh uh. God bless the pilot light!

MAP said...

So maybe the moving guy had to go enter the numbers and push the button in the hatch...

Travelling Chick said...

oh my would I drink my G&Ts without ice? it would be like a bizarro world...warm gin..oh my...

Anonymous said...

No cheese? How do you get up in the morning?

WDL said...

I'm leaving today to look for a new house, in a new state.

I'm super nervous-slash-super jazzed.

And now, I promise to be nicer to appliances, admittedly though, I have always been fond of small appliances (especially the cherry red kitchen aid mixer).


Anonymous said...

You'll be suprised to know that Sally recently replaced the giant-ass fridge..... with one exactly like it only newer. It has a digital temperature read-out inside. Fancy.