Monday, October 27, 2008

Mr. Bean Jeans

Nordic Boy and I had never shopped at Eddie Bauer. No offense to Eddie Bauer, just...we never did. Never even went it there. It was never a store that spoke to us (hi marketing, you really do control our minds), even though in some ways that makes no sense at all. I mean, they have t-shirts and hoodies. Nordic Boy is a big fan of t-shirts and hoodies. And they have jeans. And we wear jeans. But all those down vests in the ads? Not for us. And the sweaters with snowflake patterns? No way, Beyonce.

No judgment. Just not our store.

So, my jeans connection, the place where I have bought my jeans for at least the past 5 years or so? DISCONTINUED MY JEANS. Damn Lucky Brand store. No more jeans for me. They no longer love me and so what? I no longer love them. I'm not scared. There are jeans everywhere! I am a consummate fashionista! I can find jeans! NO PROBLEMO.

I know I am not saying anything new here, but DANG. Women's jeans? HARD TO FIND.

What is going on with women's jeans? Every store has jeans and they all have them in multiple cuts and shapes. Curvy! Straight leg! Skinny! Classic! Relaxed!Boyfriend! Loose Fit! Low Rise! Mid Rise! Bell! Essential!

NONE OF THESE FIT ME, PEOPLE.

Am I a freak? No. Because ask any one of my friends, and they shall tell you their own tale of woe about finding jeans that fit them right. It seems we all have them. Are you listening fashion designers of the world? Jean cuts SUCK. Next time you walk down the street? Look around at the denim-clad ladies around you. People are wearing jeans that don't fit them. Like, almost everyone. I spent the weekend a couple of weekends ago jeans shopping, and I was taking note of every ass-in-jeans that passed by and it was pitiful. Pi-tee-full.

This is why, when people find the jean that fits them, they have such loyalty to it. This is also why they sort of lose they motherflippin minds when their jeans connection is taken away.

ANYWHO. This is all to preface the fact that Nordic Boy and I went into an Eddie Bauer for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I had gone to just about every other jeans store I could think of, and this was the last stop. And although I was there, and it was fine, I suppose, I think we may have a block. A mental block. Blocking out Eddie Bauer.

Skip ahead to last week, when Nordic Boy was in Portland on business and he called me up in the evening.

Him: Before I head to dinner, I might go look for some new work shirts.
Me: Where are you going to look?
Him: Maybe I'll stop in to that one place that we went to last week. Mr. Bean.
Me: MR. BEAN?
Him: Yeah, you know. That store.
Me: First of all, I think you mean LL BEAN.
Him: Oh, yeah- right.
Me: Second of all we've never been to an LL Bean. So what I think you mean to say is Eddie Bauer.
Him: Eddie Bauer, LL Bean, it's all the same, right?
Me: Sure. Eddie, LL, Mr. Bean. Whichever.

Then? This weekend? I was going to head over to the local shopping area in my hood.

Me: Yeah, I'm going to go check out those jeans again.
Him: Which ones?
Me: The J Crew ones.
Him: Since when do you shop at J Crew?
Me: Since we went there last week! And you went there in Portland!
Him: That wasn't J Crew! That was LL Bean!
Me: You mean Eddie Bauer!
Him: YOU mean Eddie Bauer!
Me: We BOTH mean Eddie Bauer!
Him: Say hi to Mr. Bean for me.
Me: I will.

I'm out,
Librarian Girl

8 comments:

Sarah said...

The snowflake sweaters aren't my thing, but I'll admit that vests are handy in a cold work environment where you wear lab gloves (and thus long sleeve shirts are annoying) and EB does have some lovely jeans.

Of course, I'll forever think of them as Mr. Bean Jeans....

cadiz12 said...

i, too, am a very very loyal Lucky Brand jeans consumer. Finding a decent pair there (and subsequently buying several in different washes) was like a freaking godsend. So i feel your pain. and i'm terrified that the only style that fits me properly may also have been discontinued.

jean shopping SUCKS. especially when all the stores you're considering are interchangeable in your minds.

Josh said...

Mr. Bean should have his own line of clothing.

Although all it would probably be is the same old black pants, blazer and red tie he wears in every episode. Yuck.

Jeanine said...

I almost stopped reading at "motherflippin" because it reminded me of this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FArZxLj6DLk by the Flight of the Conchords (go watch... it's worth it) and I couldn't stop laughing... and then I read on and I'm so glad I did. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.
And the jeans theory... so sadly true.

dizz said...

Oh the woe of the jeans shopping. Tis indeedy evil. It's even been known to make me cry, it's THAT traumatic. Then we discovered New Look jeans and all was right with the world. Do you have that shop? If not, it'd be worth it for you to get on a plane to the UK just to buy the jeans, they're the bestest!

Darlene said...

So, did you manage to find some jeans? I, as well have the WORST time jeans shopping - You see, half of my body is legs & even the long jeans aren't long enough. I've even had to purchase men's jeans and get them altered just so I could have the length. It's either that or trim my ladies' jeans with lace....and I don't think ANYBODY wants that to happen.

Carrie Ann said...

I hate shopping for jeans - for all the reasons you mentioned but especially because I am really short. I hate the idea of hemming jeans - just not right. So I need to buy them in "short" sizes - which aren't very popular. Good luck finding your new pair

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