In Libraryland yesterday, I overheard a little kid argument. It ended with something like this:
Kid #1: Don't say that! Stop saying that!
Kid #2: I can say that if I want to! Don't you know this is AMERICA???
Oh say can you see? What a beautiful end to an argument that is? I took that phrase and put it right in my purse and took it home with me. I figure it applies to everything, not just speech. I tried to pick fights just so I could use it.
Me: Where's my glass of water?
Nordic Boy: Oh, sorry, I thought you were done with it. I dumped it and washed it already.
Me: Don't you touch my glass! This is AMERICA, buddy!
Nordic Boy: What?
A half hour later...
Nordic Boy: What time are we going out to dinner with H and J tomorrow night?
Me: Around 7.
Nordic Boy: Ok, I'll be home around 6.
Me: You better be! Don't you know this is AMERICA?
Nordic Boy: Oh jeez.
And then...
Me: Do you know what day next week you're going to Portland?
Nordic Boy: No, not yet.
Me: When will you know?
Nordic Boy: I'll know when I know! Don't you know this is AMERICA?
Me: HEY!
How quickly he turns on me.
In other news, whoa, there has been so much de-lurking going on via email and comments! Muy exciting. I have been traipsing all around the innernets looking at all ya'lls blogs, and loving it! In the process, my blog friend over at Moving Right Along has tagged me with the Moaning Meme. Dirty! Not really. It's the other kind of moaning, not the good kind. Too bad. Ok, here goes, my pretties.
5 people that will be annoyed that you tagged them
Why would I tag people who I think would be annoyed? If I really want to annoy you, I would find a much more sinister way of doing it than tagging you for a meme, like tying your shoelaces together or making you go on a date with Ryan Seacrest or something. And, if you were the type to be annoyed by being tagged for a meme, then really, you have too much time on your hands. Because memes are totally ignorable. You get tagged, you don't want to do it, you don't do it. Where does annoyance come into it? Does this make any sense to you at all? I am getting annoyed with this even as I type it. So maybe the answer to this question is I am annoyed at the way this question is annoying me.
4 things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth
Disease, hunger, poverty, and ignorance. These are my answers and my name is Miss Washington. Now let's get to the evening gown competition and then you can give me my god damn tiara.
3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently
Is it me or is this meme getting kind of hostile? I'm kind of scared of it. Go to Anger Management class, you crazy meme! I don't usually want to shake people violently. Although it might be fun to put them in one of those exercise machines, you know, from the olden days, that they always had in cartoons? It was like a machine that had a big, human sized rubberband hooked to it. You would stand there, with part of the big rubberband around your ass, and you would lean back on it, and when you turned the machine on, it vibrated the rubberband and you like crazy. Let's talk about the three people I would want to put in one of those. Ok, first, ME. Because it looks fun. Second, umm...ok how about I get three turns?
2 things you find yourself moaning about
SO DIRTY! I apologize for saying that again. I just can't help it. Ok, I'm focusing. I moan if surroundings that are in my control (my house, my desk, my closet, myself) are messy or aesthetically unpleasing. I am not proud of this, but I accept it about myself. I also moan about the state of the world. Because a lot of it is jacked up, have you noticed this?
1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself
The word "moaning" makes me say the word "dirty!" This is not new news. It's just nicely illustrated here. I don't think I'll tag anyone (as they might, apparently, be annoyed), and I don't think I will ruminate more on what my anwers tell me about myself, as I fear it will lead to some sort of "it all means I'm crazy" conclusion. So I guess I'm not following the instructions to the letter, but don't you guys know that this is AMERICA?
Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl
Friday, July 27, 2007
Moana Lisa
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14 comments:
I am pretty sure that meme will never touch my blog.
I couldn't get through it with as much grace and humor as you. I can't even get through my own vacation pictures with as much grace and humor.
I absolutely love the way you answered most of those questions without actually answering.
Dude, My grandmother had one of those giant rubber band exercise machines. And when you are 10, that thing is all kinds of awesome.
have you seen that south park episode where one of the kid's dad starts fights at all their little league games and says "i'm sorry! i thought this was america!"? cracks me up every time.
You know how scary it is right now that I lurk other people's blog as well. Thank TexasMegan for that!
Either that or you know, it's America. :)
I'm totally busting out the "This is America" this weekend. Maybe it will penetrate BlogHer and I'll get all the glorious credit. Oh shit, no, since I just unveiled my eveil plan right here.
Damn.
"...then you can give me my god damn tiara." Bwahaha. You crack me up girl.
I used to work with this Mexican busboy, and whenever something bad would happen he'd yell "Hey! Don't worry about it! This is America!"
Of course, that was until he got deported.
I'm totally going to steal that as a comeback. Especially when someone corners me and asks me about my (non-existent, thankyouverymuch) five-year plant.
"Don't you know this is AMERICA?"
Yes, that'll do nicely. : )
What a coincidence! This weekend I was smote with the remembrance of how kids at my elementary school would respond to each others' taunts: by saying "It's a free country!" for example:
"stop hitting me with your pencil."
"make me! it's a free country!"
See? I knew you'd have something interesting to say.
I love, love, love "This is AMERICA" as a blanket answer. I'm going to start looking for opportunities to say that.
It's being added to my collection of snappy comebacks learned on the internet. There's "You calling me fat?" from the Chubby Girl Brigade, which is to be used to answer any question one does not wish to answer, and "Thank you, Dr. House!" from Retired Waif, which is to be used to counter people who tell you that you should or shouldn't be doing something or other because of some medical condition you may or may not have in which, in any case, the people offering unsolicited advice are not themselves board certified experts. And now we have, "This is AMERICA" to justify all sorts of behavior without actually having to defend it rationally. Perfect.
Thank you.
One of the joys of working in the kids room truly is gaining all kinds of awesome little kid-isms. There was this brother and sister who were playing with puppets and the little sister said to her brother: "Hey, wanna battle?" in this very hopeful way.
Certainly not as good as "This is America!" but it could work well in the right situation.
Oddly the phrase "This is America!" seems to show up on about 1/2 of the summer movies and be used as a logic transition in guy films for why you would want to have a wading pool full of eels to play your X box from.
It also happens to be a favorite phrase of people when we take their guns away at the border. We often try to explain that no, this isn't America, it's Canada; a real country unlike disneyland, though we, like disneyland have decided to print our own money and have our own laws.
"This is Canada" tends to be a phrase that is used with a listing depressed trail off at the end, sort of like the way you would say, "I have a life sentence" - as in, why when I go to the counter the single bottle of beer says $9.95 but after all the taxes are added they ask me for $42.56? "This is Canada..."
OK, I know you wrote this post long, long ago, (well, not that long) but I just found your blog today, and I've been reading it for... well, way too long, really, for one sitting, and for each post, I've wanted to say, "Me, too!" or "My gosh, you're funny!" or "I *loved* that show!" or some other such connectively-inspired thing. 'Cause dang, girl, you rock. I am totally enjoying reading your blog. And in your post about maybe, possibly, being a celebrity (.00001, I think), I wanted to say, "I'll be in Tacoma this spring and I was totally thinking I should go to Seattle and see if you wanted to get tea or something, but that's way too stalky, so I won't. You ARE famous!" but I didn't, because that, in itself, seemed too stalky. But, this post - this post, I have something to say:
http://tinyurl.com/294jtk
If you haven't seen Ellen in her Hawaii chair, watch this. It is FUN-NEE. And, sorry if you did see it and blog about it - like I said, I'm new here.
peace
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