Monday, June 18, 2007

I'm Totally Burying the Lead

This is the type of post that has no rhyme nor reason but is just a post about the last few days in my life so if you're looking for things like continuity and sequiturs and so forth you should brace yourself for disappointment.

First of all I have discovered that I have lost the ability to feed myself. Not in the sense that I cannot lift fork and knife and guide it into my face. It's more that I am unable to figure out what to eat and prepare the decided upon entree. This is because Nordic Boy is the cook in my household, and although I help with the food preparation, he is the one who decides what we are eating. When I come home, he will have shopped and started preparing whatever meal it is, and so the part of my brain that has to come up with a dinner idea ALL ON ITS OWN has atrophied to the point where I have become one of those sitcom husbands that needs to have a frozen casserole left in the freezer for him when wifey goes to visit mother. Last week, Nordic Boy went on an overnight business trip. When dinner time rolled around, I was completely engulfed in dinner-decision-inertia. I had to call Bio-Girl, TWO STATES AWAY, to help me. She suggested I go get some take-out and not mess around with trying to come up with something to cook. She gives it to me straight, that girl does. Do NOT try and cook! Back away from the kitchen! Proceed directly to take out joint! Which I did. And when I got to my favorite Indian restaurant, the proprietors CALLED ME OUT. They smiled with surprise and said, "Oh! YOU're coming in to pick up your order?" To which I said, meekly, "yes." To which they replied "Your partner usually comes in to do that." All surprised. Like THEY KNOW that I don't know how to get my own damn dinner any more. Did I defend myself? Did I take back my dinner-getting power? No. I looked down, said "he's out of town," and slunk out the door. SHAMED.

A few days later, Nordic Boy and I showed up there for dinner with our friends H and R (not H&R Block, although wouldn't that be cool if we knew them?) so I got over my shame fast. Nothing will make me get over myself like an order of killer alloo mutter.

On Friday night I went to my first bbq party of the summer, which was a lovely cap to my day and much needed, as I had to deal with doggie diaherria at work that day. And oh how I wish doggie diaherria was a euphemism for something. So a party is just what I needed. Who cares if it's June and 55 degrees in Seattle? We are going to pretend it's summer goddamnit and I don't care if I have to drink hot chocolate while we grill something. Who's with me?

On Saturday I spent the entire day with Nordic Boy, as we have both been so busy lately that, as I crawled into bed after the bbq on Friday, we looked at each other with a look that could easily be interpreted as something along the lines of "and you are?" We capped off the night by going to see Ocean's Thirteen, which was good but was Ellen Barkin supposed to be scary or sexy in that? Because I was scared.

The following evening I went over to my brother's house for dinner and to celebrate my nephew's 5th birthday. My nephew is a little social dude-about-town, with lots of stories to tell me about his friends at swimming lessons and his friends on the block and his friends at school. I asked him out of all his friends who his best friend was and he didn't even hesitate before saying "I have two best friends: Mommy and Daddy." I just about went into sugar shock and fell to pieces with how cute that is. I gave him a conductor's whistle as part of his birthday present and it was a huge hit. I think his parents might just want to kill me after hearing that whistle for oh, about the 347th time that night. Happy Birthday to all of you!

Oh, and um, you guys? My dear friend Neighbor J is currently, as-we-speak, right now, at the present time, now o'clock, HAVING HER BABY. Labor started yesterday. When I told Nordic Boy that it was go-time for her, his response was: "Hi-yabba!" That about sums it up.


Kiss the rings, I'm out.
Librarian Girl


Scottsdale Girl said...

I am not sure I could expect sequiturs since I don't know what them there thangs is. :)

HI Yabba!

Anonymous said...

Continuity is overrated. Alloo mutter is not!

Anonymous said...

Well, the take out WAS a good idea right? And frankly, your microwave called me and sounded scared.

Katie Kiekhaefer said...

Absolutely, continuity is overrated! And I'm so glad you brought up the Ellen Barkin thing! I saw it last night and the whole time I was very frightened by her, particularly her scary boobs and the way they were squeezed (with the rest of her) into those dresses. It all seemed quite unnecessary--she's a hot mama (if you ask me) so why all the scary sexpotness? And why must they state that she is a "cougar" and that's why she'd go for Matt Damon--if she was a scary old man and Matty was a girl, it would make perfect sense. Gah. Sorry for the rambling, yowza. Perhaps I should go off and write a post on my own blog instead of your's. :)

Sphincter said...

Welcome, Neighbor Junior!

e-Lizabeth said...

Yay for Neighbor J! Congrats auntie!

now how can I sleep worrying about scary Ellen Barkin??

cadiz12 said...

they allow diarrhea-afflicted dogs in the library?

yay for neighbor j and mini-nbj!

The Kelly Green Rogue said...

I'm with you on Ellen Barkin, I alternated between, wow the way they've pushed her boobs up looks painful and what's wrong with her lips? and where the heck was Julia Roberts? I mean I knew she wasn't in it before I went but still. They could get away with leaving Katherine Zeta Jones out, but Julia? It was just weird that she didn't even have a cameo

Anonymous said...

Congrats on your future neighbor-auntie status!! And why is it so hard to decide what to have for dinner. I love cooking and I still spend way too much time dithering.