Saturday, July 31, 2010

Curse Sir Walter Raleigh

You know that Beatles song? I'm So Tired? Why were they talking about Sir Walter Raleigh in that song? Anyone know? Is this something all the cool people know and I just never heard about it? Do tell, cool people.

All of my close peeps are so tired, ya'll. And when exhausted, they say some funny things.

Nordic Boy: We should go see that new new movie.
Me: Which one?
Him: You know, that one with Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell in it.
Me: Oh, yeah. Sure.
Him: What is it called again? Lunch with the Stupids?
Me: Dinner for Schmucks. Although I would totally go see something called Lunch with the Stupids too.

Nordic Boy: Save that interview show on the DVR for me.
Me: Which one?
Him: Larry Rose. He's interviewing Michael Kline.
Me: Um, you mean Charlie Rose? Interviewing Kevin Kline?
Him: That's the one.
Me: Oh my god, go to bed.

Delium: Have you guys seen that new church in the University District? The one with the really sad name?
Me: I don't think so.
Him: Oh you would remember it if you saw it. It has a name that's strange. A name that sounds depressing.
Me: No, I haven't seen it.
Him: It's like, The Church of the Unwanted Shits.
Me: What????
Him: Or something like that. I guess that's not it. But something like that.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Consumables #23

Dudes, I am so tired this week it hurts to type. Nordic Boy and I got buck wild with the home improvements and then on top of that there were other added stressors that were hella depressing and hectic and you add that all up and you've got brain deaditis. BLAH BLOO BLEE BLAH.*

The other day, Nordic Boy and I were working on the house, and the evening daylight was almost up and we weren't as far along on our project as we wanted. He turned to me at one point and said, and I quote, "Well, we can do as much as we can on this part now, and then in the twilight we can caulk."

In the twilight we can caulk. He's got the heart of a poet, that one.

So today, I am going to do Consumables a day early, because I just do not have one iota of energy to do anything else. Because of all the harried times over here, I haven't been consuming all that much in terms of movies and tv and the like. I heard that Snookie rang the bell at the NYSE and that President Obama was on The View and I ask you what sort of backwards up-is-down world are we living in? Because that seems like a pop culture switcheroo if I ever heard one.

So, no movies or tv this week, although we did limp into our house last night and make ourselves a sad, sad dinner of spaghetti made with undoctored sauce out of a bottle at 10pm, and tried to keep our eyes open while chewing half-heartedly by watching The Big Lebowski on tv. I thought working really hard, physically, was supposed to release endorphines or something and make you feel better about your troubles. And that tv was supposed to deaden the mind. Neither one of these, I am here to tell you, is true. Hopefully things will get better soon. Because this aggression will not stand, man.

Ok, so. Consumables.

The Silver Linings Playbook
The book jacket review blurb says "hilarious." It was good, but not hilarious. I found it quite melancholy with sardonic/witty overtones, which does not mean hilarious. Still, it was good. There was a large portion of the story that revolves around football and rabid football fans, and these are usually things that will make me fall dead asleep so if I still say it was good despite that, you should know that it was quite a good book.

While we have been working outside, we have plugged in Pandora and listened to some random stuff. Here's what has stuck in my brain.

There was a point where Nordic Boy was using his nailgun in exact rhythm with this song. And really, how could you not?

Living In Oblivion, by Anything Box
Oh, the early 90s. Thems was good times.

Never There, by Cake
I have a friend who used to date a dude in Cake, and after she told me about the dicky behavior I said I wouldn't listen to them anymore. That's right, SISTERHOOD, baby. They came on Pandora this weekend, and I just let it play. Does this constitute betrayal? Really, I was on a ladder in the middle of staple-gunning the shit out of my house. But I feel guilty about it.

I Put My Hand in There
My friend Jenny has a thing for Johnny Depp. I know, so do a lot of people. But she really does have a history with Johnny infatuation, all the way back to 21 Jump Street. I know, so do a lot of people. Just, in my world, I associate her with him. She also, completely separate from this, does a very uncanny Carol Channing impression. And how could you not love a girl like that? This week, this news story came out where it is being said that Johnny Depp's dream role would be to play Carol Channing. How weird is that? It's like Jenny's dream come true. Johnny AS Carol. Too much to bear. This news story made me get this song in my head and it just will not stop. And like many classic songs from musicals, the innuendo is strong, but really, Carol Channing? "Twist a little, turn a little, him a little, her a little, pressure with the thumbs, matrimony comes when, I put my hand in there!" Oh dear.
*tm _lovechild

Monday, July 26, 2010

Home Improvement with my Homies

Crazy stuff happened in home improvement land this weekend.

1. The troops once again descended onto our homestead to help us with our shenanigans. Biogirl and Delium clocked in umpteen hours working on that mothereffer of a house of ours. Best. Friends. Ever. I really love those guys so much.

2. Delium, Biogirl and I went into the backyard to mess with the eaves of our house, which was one of the many projects underway. When we went back there, we left Nordic Boy with a big hole where the exterior wall of our house once was. A chunk had been taken out there, for reasons that are too long to explain. When we took a water break an hour later? There was a fricking wall there. A beautifully framed out, wall of perfection. Right there. That Nordic Boy effing made by hisself. SO FAST. The three of us had barely gotten ourselves set up at that point. It's good that he is so understated because that shit could start to get show-offy after a while.

3. Nordic Boy has a pair of vintage 50's safety glasses. I LOVE THEM. I am sort of jealous of them, actually. This weekend, I got to wear them. I felt like a cross between a mad scientist and Milton the Stapler Guy.

4. There were three ladders in use all weekend, plus one large bucket that was being used as a stepstool. The four of us were going up and down these ladders every five minutes like we were moles in that Whack a Mole game. At one point someone started to sing a background song, and we all agreed that we could pitch our ladder choreography to Cirque du Soleil as an addition to their show. Granted we were all punchy and semi-dehydrated at that point of the day, but at the time it seemed entertaining to us.

5. Delium did an unfortunate ladder dance (similar to a pole dance) on top of one of the ladders at one point, which my elderly neighbor Maggie just might have witnessed. Hopefully she was enticed, rather than weirded out.

6. When Nordic Boy and I first met when I was a teeny tiny teenager baby 19 years of age, he worked at a big fancy theatre. He was like the Doogie Howser of set carpentry then- this young guy in charge of making sets and in charge of crews of people twice his age. I was in awe of him and his talent and although I was totally intimidated by him, I hid it well (ACTING!) and confidently talked to him. As an intern, I was assigned to help him work for a time, and I remember the first thing he taught me how to do was to use a chalk line. This weekend, I was helping him at one point, and we busted out that chalk line again. He held one end and I held the other, and when he said "you want to snap it, or should I?" I looked across at him and my stomach flipped a little. It sort of blew my mind that we were here, so many years later, working on our home together. It really does seem like a few days ago that I was trying to get him to eat lunch with me at that theater.

Look at me, feeling the romance over a chalk line. Shut up, I'm tired, ok?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Consumables #22

Reel Paradise

I was not a big fan of this. It's been sitting on my Netflix queue forever and I just kept putting off watching it because I knew it would piss me off. I shall spare you my thoughts on cultural imperialism and just say (and you may quote me on this): BARF.

The Bachelorette
Just when I thought I was out, THEY PULLED ME BACK IN. I haven't watched all season, but I did watch the last two episodes and I can't even believe how mind-numbingly boring these people are. Why do I want to watch boring people vying for each other's boring affection? I'll tell you why. It's because they go on "overnight dates" and use funny euphemisms for making the sex. "I am just really looking forward to having alone time with Ali. So that we can really relax. And just get to know each other more deeply." "I really want Chris to put himself out there tonight. I just really need to see who he is." What is it with the "putting himself out there," people? So many times with the "putting himself out there"! Apparently, it is the main thing one looks for in a mate. Perhaps we should be incorporating this into our vows to each other. "Do you promise to always love, honor, and put yourself out there?"

Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman
I am not usually impressed by celebrity. Large or small. Hot movie star, or brainiest professor on campus? Whatever. If you are the person that everyone talks about and oohs and ahhs over, this will most likely cause me to be skeptical of you. When I was in the THEE-AH-TAH!, the big stars that came in that everyone went googoo for? They were straight up assholes. Like, 99% of the time. So although I don't think celebrity/popularity makes you an ass, I do think the liklihood is higher. So in the library world, the biggest celebrity is a little lady by the name of Nancy Pearl. If you have ever seen the Librarian Action Figure, it is based on her. Also, you may hear her on NPR's Morning Edition or other egghead places like that, reviewing books and talking about other librarianish things. To the non-librarian, she is pretty unknown. To the librarian, she is more beloved than Shel fucking Silverstein. When she shows up to conferences and stuff, people go all atwitter. Therefore, my natural inclination toward her should be one of gaggy eye-rolling. However, in this case, I must make an exception to my skepticism. Because Nancy is the nicest lady you will ever meet in your life. Really, she is. Anyway, I got to have a long meeting with her and other colleagues this week and it was nothing but delightful. And we talked about many books, The Zookeeper's Wife being among them. So I read it this week. Which is a really roundabout way for me to talk about nice Nancy Pearl, the semi-celebrity who is unequivocally not a fuckface.

This Is It
I can't think about this title without going to the bad Kenny Loggins place. "THIS IS IT! Make no mistake where you ahhhh...."  So this documentary is just a bunch of clips of Michael Jackson rehearsing, and he is clearly only performing at about 25% effort, because it's just rehearsing. And yet, me, um, riveted. Must have been the dormant 6th grader in me who would pay money to watch Michael Jackson mow his lawn. Wait, I guess Michael Jackson wouldn't have mowed his lawn though. Well, I would have watched him make Bubbles mow it then, or something. Oh whatever.

Big Eden
Ok, so the ending was a little cheesy, but still. I thought it was sweet.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Thursday already?

Random ephemera from my life this week...

1. Yes, I just said "ephemera from my life," like a big pretentious asshole.

2. You might be aware of the fact that my aesthetic runs toward minimal. I am not a keeper of things, and clutter drives me crazy. I don't think that having things is really my issue- I think I am more of an organization nut that anything else. If things that I own have a place, neat and tidy, then I am happy with keeping them. Anyway. This is just a preface to say that my policy of giving shit away has always been a good thing in my life, overall. Except for twice. Once, a couple of months ago, when we were making tabbouli salad and hummus, and Nordic Boy was all "um, where is our food processor?" and I was all, "don't look at me, how would I know?" and then I realized that I had given it away. To Goodwill. Because we hadn't used it in a couple of months. So we had to go buy a new one. Nordic Boy chose not to give me shit about this, because he is good people. Then, a few weeks ago, he and I were going to go for a run after work together. And then I was all "where are my running shoes?" and we looked high and low. And goddamn it, they were GONE. I think I tossed them into a give-away pile recently. It's the only explanation I can think of. Nordic Boy, again, did not give me shit about this. However, Biogirl did. And I so deserve it. Don't leave any of your crap with me because I will discard it, fools. Buh'lee dat.

3. A neighbor told us that his dog and a raccoon got into a fight the other night. What kind of crap is that? We are in the CITY, people. This ain't no Marlin Perkins situation we have going on around here. All I could think about was Jasper on Little House on the Prairie. And so what if my references are all from the 1970s right now? (The dog and the raccoon both walked away from this fight unharmed overall, by the way, but I bet they are both hella pissed).

4. The other night, I was asleep in my bed (all alone, without Nordic Boy, woe is me), and the oscillating fan that we had propped up in the corner? TURNED ON BY ITSELF. Woke me up, scared me so bad my nuts pulled up, and I still can't figure out how it happened. Clearly I have dead people hanging out in my house and they are sweaty, hot dead people who want me to turn the fan on. Poltergeist! GAH.

5. I got ma'am'ed at work yesterday. Doesn't happen all that often, but when it does? Ouch.

6. You know I am one to joke about just about anything, but Mel Gibson jokes? Not funny to me. Just in case you were thinking about telling me a Mel Gibson joke.

7. Nordic Boy says that he might get to stay home for work EVERY NIGHT next week. Although he was careful to say "might" I am now officially taking it as fact. If anyone at his work undoes this now, I will have to cut someone.

8. There are many things at work that require my signature. No one ever gets my Henry Blake references when I try to use them in those situations. I fear I am becoming one of those bosses that tells bad jokes continually, hoping someone will laugh.

That's all I got.

Carry on my wayward sons.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Hair Drama

Delium came over AGAIN and rocked out with the help for like 6 or 7 hours this weekend. Now he is just gunning for Friend of the Year, methinks.

It's funny to have people over while you are doing something with your partner that you would normally only do without other people there. (Dirty!) Ok, this time I just mean that we were working on the house together with Delium there. Nordic Boy and I have been together for so long now that we pretty much have communication down pat and so working together does not raise ire or frustration or cause bickering that we need to quash in front of outsiders. And I am glad of that, because really, what is worse than being stuck at someone's house as a guest and hearing that mess from your couple-friends? So although the bickering doesn't happen, we do have quirky ways that we communicate, and having an audience can be kind of funny.

(Me, working with Delium).
Me: Where's Nordic Boy?
Delium: I think he went in the house for a drink of water.
Me: Oh. (hesitation)
Delium: Do you need something?
Me: Yeah. I, uh, just need to go express something for a second.
Delium: Oh. Um, ok. Go for it.
Me: (yelling) NORDIC BOY??
NB: (through the open kitchen window) YEAH??
NB: (sounds of footsteps. Rustling of things. Drawers opening and closing).
(NB comes out of the house with a small ponytail holder).
Me: Thanks, but not that one. That one won't hold my hair. My hair is too thick.
NB: Oh. (Starting to go back into the house).
Me: You don't have to go search for it or anything. I just wanted to tell you I was mad about my hair. You don't need to fix it. I just wanted to tell you about it.
NB: Ok. You sure? I can get a barrette. How about a clip?
Me: No, really- no solution necessary. I just wanted to tell you.
NB: Ok.
Me: I feel better now.

Delium: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your demonstration of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Thank you for watching.
Me: Shut up.
Delium: You guys are weird.
Me: Get back to work.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Consumables #21

This week I could not take reading, watching, listening to ANYTHING that wasn't silly. I just couldn't.

Planet of the Apes (1968 version)
Nordic Boy and I, because we are old fogeys, still frequent our local video rental store quite often. You know those buildings? Where there are actual shelves with dvds on display? And you walk in a door and rent them? Yeah, we still do that. And for years and years, we have had a running joke. Whenever I am being indecisive about what movie I want, and I just keep wandering around and around gathering armloads of movies when we really need to narrow down to just one, Nordic Boy has a failsafe phrase to get my ass moving. "You better pick one or we are just getting Planet of the Apes and that's that." And I go into a panic and pick a movie out immediately. I don't know what it is about the threat of Planet of the Apes, but it works. This tactic has been used for at least 10 years. This week, I noticed Planet of the Apes on Netflix streaming, and fired that sucker up. And though I hadn't seen it in a million years, the lines were burned in my brain to the point where I could recite along with it. Which actually isn't that hard, because Heston isn't exactly Shakespeare. "It's a mad house! A MAD HOUSE!"

Year One
Stupid ass Judd Apatow. I watch his movies and sort of go through the whole thing kind of being mad about the anti-lady-ness, and then the juvenile 14-year-old part of my brain kicks in and one or two things will just hit my funny bone for a second and it saves the whole experience. For instance:

Princess: (indicating a temple) I want you to enter the Holiest of Holies.

Jack Black: That's quite a coincidence, because I want you to sit on the Poliest of Polies.

We lost our shit laughing at that, I am not gonna lie.

Slap Shot
Many things not to like about this movie. But it's got Paul Newman. And also Strother Martin making a friggin' hilarious masturbation face.

For the love of Petey Wheat, I am Beavis AND Butthead this week. There is just no other excuse.

Classic jokes are still funniest

Me: I'm so lucky to have people in my life who really listen to me, you know? So thank you.

Biogirl: What?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Food, trees, art, home

There were many things that made me frown, cringe, and feel slightly nauseated in the past few days. Rather than share those things, I shall share some things that made me smile.

Seattle Food Truck boom
The city of Seattle has made food distribution easier to do and thus, food trucks and food carts are flourishing. Gourmet ice cream, hotdogs, taco trucks, doughnut trucks, burgers, pizza, fish and chips, thai food, and more, all on wheels.

Country in the city
Last Friday night Nordic Boy and I took a hike around our city for over two hours, and at several points found ourselves in parks that seemed far, far away from any concrete and steel, even though we were steps away from it all the time.

Urban Craft Uprising
A gathering of artists who get together and sell their wares. It was heaven. I made a bunch of scores when I went this year, not the least of which was this cool shrinky dink mustachio necklace (look for it in the etsy shop called Passion Flower). While wearing it, you can even lift it up to your upper lip and it fits most faces perfectly. You know, in case you need a disguise at an unexpected moment.

Voicemail Songwriter Improv
I have friends who call me up and when I don't pick up, don't do anything other than sing a crazy song they made up, and then hang up. You know who you are, and I LOVE YOU.

Coming home
Walking in my front door at the end of my work day is among the best feelings in the world. But before I get to the front door, I walk up my front stoop, and then step onto my porch, and in that few seconds, I get a glimpse through my front window. Sometimes Nordic Boy is reading in there, sometimes he's in the kitchen whipping something up. But looking in my window, I know he's there somewhere and it's pretty rad.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I'm tired, so what?

Me: If you could do any dangerous/thrill-seeking activity and be guaranteed that you wouldn't get hurt, what would it be?
Nordic Boy: Mountain climbing.
Delium: Mine would be base jumping. No, wait. Dynamic Soaring. No, wait. I would time travel to dinosaur times and then get chased by a T-Rex.
Me: I never said time travel could be involved.
Delium: What about you?
Me: All of yours sound exciting and fun. But kind of hard. Too much effort. I think I would choose luge. Because you get to lie down for that.
Delium: I think you still have to put forth effort. To steer. Those Olympic Luge people aren't taking a nap in there, you know.
Me: Oh. Well, isn't there a style where I could just be a passenger? The real luge people could do the work. I could just ride along.
Delium: I don't think it works like that.
Me: You're just shitting on mine because I shut down your T-Rex thing.
Nordic Boy: So wow. You didn't even choose your adventure based on sitting down. You went for full on reclining.
Me: Yeah. I want thrills. But if I can lie down at the same time, it's a double win. Although the prospect of the not flattering outfit might outweigh the whole lying down thing. So I don't know.
Nordic Boy: You are a unique young lady.
Me: Just figuring that out?

Monday, July 12, 2010

Won't You Please, Please Help Me

I am constantly amazed at the number of people that I know that struggle, in large ways and small ways, and don't seem to want any help. What is going on around here, where people feel like they can't ask for help? Or even accept it when it's offered?

Ima go on record and say that I love getting help. And giving help. I don't see the downside either way. Well, I guess I don't like helping friends who only seem to take and take and would never think to reciprocate when I am in a jam. But if you're a person that only takes and never gives, that means you're kind of douchey. And I have a strict policy of cutting you the hell out of my life if you are douchey. Hence, I don't have any friends like that so that doesn't count.

When I typed "in a jam" right there? I accidentally typed "in a ham." I kind of like that better.

There are times when I have wondered if, when people seem like they really need help, and I offer and they don't respond, whether it's appropriate for me to just show up at their door. Aggressive helping, are we for this? I don't know. I haven't done that yet, but I have thought about it. There was a time when a friend of ours was having really serious home maintenance issues, and we knew about it, and they hadn't asked us for help, but they were drowning, so Nordic Boy just went over there and was all "here's how I am going to help you. I have my tools in the car and we're getting started today. What I can't fix, I will make a written plan for you of how to tackle the rest." BOSSY BRITCHES. But you know what? They wanted to cry they were so thankful that someone did that. But they wouldn't have asked.

So maybe bossy helpfulness is ok, sometimes. I just don't know if I have the balls to pull that off though. I have seriously thought about it, but never gone through with it. Have you?

I think the people that have the same giving methodology as mine are my friends Alli and Chis. They give and accept help all the time, no probs. I attribute this to our all being raised similarly, in the same environment. My friend The Soggy Librarian is another person who gets the whole giving/getting helpful thing. Now that she has her little sweet pea kiddo, I would totally go over there and do her dishes for her if she needed a nap or something. I guess what surprises me is the number of people that I know who would be appalled about a friend doing their dishes. No matter how tired, or buried in dishes, or exhausted-to-the-point-of-tears they were.

I am going on record right now to say that if I am crying over something like that? COME OVER AND DO MY DISHES. I will be grateful.

What got me thinking about this was my weekend. Over the weekend, Nordic Boy and I decided to do a very time-consuming house project. Outside. In the heat. And it had very specific time constraints. Nordic Boy is used to all of these conditions. I am, well, not so much. So after Saturday, where we stayed outside until about 10pm and we weren't even half way done with what I (not we) had mapped out for the weekend, I was exhausted.

Sunday morning, we got up and started working immediately. Really, Nordic Boy had told me there was no way we would get this project done in one weekend, but I wanted to believe. I was all Corey Hart: NEVER SURRENDER! By 11am, we had been working for four hours and I was tired and GRUMPY.


To which he replied. "I am coming over."

And he did. He just came over and got to work. And worked with us until we all literally could barely stand up, we were so dirty and tired and sweaty and disgusting. Even though when he first got there I was using a snappy tone because I am an asshole sometimes. Even though he had work to do for his actual paying job. Even though he still had grocery shopping to do. Even though he also had dance rehearsal to go to later that I am sure he was exhausted for by the time he was done at our house. Even though we had nothing to offer him in the way of snacks. He came over, and clearly realized that I was at the end of my rope and distracted my grumpy mood all day while we worked by being funny and silly and delightful.

He's really a friggin' awesome friend to Nordic Boy and me. I wish more people were like him. And I hope I can be half as awesome as that to my peeps.

Next time someone is in a ham, go help them out, ok? Think about Delium and just go.

Also? I am so sore. Manual labor is hard.

Friday, July 09, 2010

Consumables #20

I swear to you I will get back to posting more than just Consumables starting next week. Because really, there is stuff happening in my life other than this. Sheesh.

In the meantime! This week:

Clash of the Titans (1981 version starring Sir Laurence Olivier opposite Harry Freaking Hamlin)

Flint #1: Choosing Sides
I saw this at the library, and how could I not read it? It's set in my own drrty ghetto fabulous hometown that I love so much. Prostitution! Basketball! Drug deals! Gang wars! Ah, I feel 16 again. Ha ha.What killed the whole thing was that the back of the book blurb tells you the whole dang story. Boo! I confess the thing I loved most about it was the design on the book cover that just had the signs for Interstate 75 and 475 on either side of the title. Holla!

This Is Just Exactly Like You, by Drew Perry
This was totally ruined for me because someone told me it was funny. Ready to laugh, I dove in. Um, whoever told me that, you are fired. If only I could remember who you are.

And lastly, I rocked out to this song while making breakfast this morning, because the sun shining in my windows just amped me the eff UP. Nordic Boy added in the background "Whoop" whenever needed. Yay summer!

Thursday, July 08, 2010

I can see clearly now, the rain has gone

The week is whizzing by! Or taking a whiz by. Thoughts, musings, and perhaps a couple of actual happenings.
1. I am so grown up, you guys. It's true. I spend so much time doing grown up things, it kind of weirds me out. The other day, I was called upon to get information off of my homeowner's insurance, and I knew right where my policy was. This made me take a step back and realize that I have neat and organized files in my life. Of things like insurance, and 401k stuff, and shit like that. And I understand it. And I keep it nice and tidy and up to date. GAH.

2. It's supposed to be 92 degrees here today and I LOVE IT. I try to keep my jocularity quiet though because Seattle-ites will cut you if you are happy about the weather. Any weather. It is universally maligned, hot or cold. Seattle is not happy unless it is a perfect, hermetically-sealed bubble of 72.6 degrees with filtered sunlight and a 3 mile an hour breeze. Being from the Midwest, this seems nuts to me.

3. Let's talk about the dudes who yell out to ladies from cars, shall we? Dudes, what is that all about? What is the purpose of this activity? Approaching a lady, I get. Asking her for her phone number, I get. But driving by and yelling out the window some sort of poetic phrase such as "Aye, Mami!" or "Delicious, bay-beeee!" What IS THAT? What is that doing for you? What is the satisfaction? What is the response you would like? Really, it dumbfounds me.

4. Remember the town BioGirl and I concocted? I can't believe none of y'all told me about Dick Trickle. I think he might be the first real live person that can live in our town, and I totally forgot about him all this time. And then I remembered, and that made me think of Dick Butkus. Give those two immigration papers immediately! We need them in our town, now!

5. Have you noticed that on tv and in the movies, people seem to know when phone conversations are over and they just hang up without saying "goodbye"? Do you guys do that? I never do that. I always say bye to people on the phone. How are these tv people sure that they aren't hanging up on someone?

6. My Tivo always suggests that I watch "Kimora Lee Simmons: Life in the Fab Lane." I tried it last night and I couldn't get through it. And I think we all know me well enough by now to know that I can get through a lot of doodoo-caca in the medias. But that? No. Now I am sort of offended at my Tivo for thinking that I should watch that.

7. I did, however, watch an episode of "What Not To Wear" where they claimed that every man needed to own a pair of mandals. EVERY MAN. EVERYWHERE. MANDALS. That's all I'm going to say about that.

8. I am planning another upcoming Midwest trip and thinking about it makes me so excited I may or may not do a faux peepee dance without realizing.

Monday, July 05, 2010

Consumables #19

Consumables from last week, because I am just late with every last thing in my life these days.

Look up Funny and Adorable in the dictionary and Charlene Yi will be staring right back at you from the page.

Whatever Works
Another film about a cranky old guy who lands a beautiful and ditzy girl just this side of legal age who happens to adore the crankyness. OMG Woody Allen play a NEW TUNE, will you?

Shape of the Moon
I don't know how to explain this movie other than to say it follows a modern Indonesian family. And so many other things. It was slow, sad, big, and small.

So You Think You Can Dance
I was just glad that I didn't have to hear Mia Michaels say "Dance is not an art form, it's a HEART FORM," like she did the previous week. I didn't think I could miss Mary Murphy, but I actually think she was a better judge. Under all the screaming, that is.

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch
Didn't have the broader appeal of overall 80s pop culture (Brat Pack stories! Bruce Boxleitner romance! Billy Idol!) like Melissa Gilbert's memoir, but this one had more morsels for true Little House fans. Who else is going to tell you that Michael Landon wore pants so tight as Pa Ingalls that the cast and crew could tell when he was going commando? Whoa Nellie!